Fix You
by coffeeshopcynic
Summary: Post-season three finale fic based on the song Fix You by Coldplay.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well here is yet another post-season three finale piece. I'm not giving up on my other one but my sister Nikki is pretty busy so we haven't really had time to work on it. Anyways the other night I couldn't sleep so i was watching fan-made Caskett videos on youtube when I came across one to the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. It was so beautiful and the song worked so perfectly that I was inspired to write another fan fic using the song as a guideline. There is going to be 29 chapters; one for every line of the song. I warn you now I am not a medical expert so if I mess something up it's because i just winged it. I know everyone is probably tired of post-finale fics but I really hope you will take time to read mine. Also I really really love reviews. They inspire me to write more. One more thing, this story is just by me; my sister Nikki is not a part of it.**

**I do not own either Castle or Fix You (although I wish I did). **

**~Rose**

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><p>Chapter One<p>

"When you try your best but you don't succeed"

Castle:

It was too bright to be a funeral. The sky was too blue, and the grass was too green. Standing around waiting to bury a friend was more painful then I had imagined it would be. I had helped Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett carry the Captain's casket in. It was an honour; showing me that I really was part of their family. All around me was the sombre faces of Montgomery's family, my family from the twelfth, my mother, and my daughter. Beckett stood stoically in her dress blues ready to start her speech.

I gave her an encouraging look and she began, "Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices. We are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us there is no victory; there are only battles. And in the end the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky you find someone willing to stand with you." She looked over at me as she said that last part. I tried to give her another small encouraging smile, but it wouldn't come. "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight."

I thought I saw a flicker of light out of the corner of my eye as Beckett continued, "And even if there is..." I couldn't hear what Beckett was saying anymore. All I could do was focus on the light.

I heard the shot as I cried out, "Kate!" I ran over to her as fast as I could, knocking her down to the ground as I went. I heard gasps and cries around me but all I saw was Kate. "Kate, shhh… Kate, please, stay with me." I was begging by this point. If only I had gotten to her sooner. If only I had forced her to back down. If only I had listened to her and stayed away from her mother's case. " Stay with me Kate." It was my fault that the woman I loved was dying in my arms. I knew I had to keep talking to her; I had to try to keep her awake. "Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?" I felt tears welling up in my eyes even though I knew I couldn't cry. "Kate," I choked out her name again. She was slipping away from me; I knew I wouldn't have another chance to tell her what I had been keeping from her for the past three years. I looked into her eyes and finally said it, "Kate, I love you." She looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide. I could tell she was trying to reply, but the words wouldn't come to her lips. I was too late. I had failed her. I had to say the words one more time; I needed to make sure she heard them, "I love you Kate." Her eyes slowly closed, her head falling. I really was too late.

I clung to her as the people around me scrambled. Esposito led some other cops to hunt down the shooter, Ryan called the ambulance, and Lanie ran over in our direction.

"Castle. Castle, led me through," Lanie said as sternly as she could in the current situation.

I gently pressed my lips to Kate's forehead as I rearranged her in my arms so Lanie could get to her too.

"Take off your jacket," Lanie ordered. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do that seeing how I was still holding onto Kate. Lanie seeing my problem gently slid her own arms under Kate, allowing me to remove mine so I could take off my jacket. "Apply pressure to the wound before she starts bleeding out," Lanie told me as calmly as she could. I pressed my jacket to her chest, trying not to think about how much of her blood was on my hands. "It's going to be okay Castle," Lanie said trying to reassure me; I could tell she didn't believe it herself. I nodded at her stoically, knowing if I tried to speak I would lose it.

The EMTs got there after what felt like hours, but I know it had only been a few minutes. My jacket was soaked through with blood and my hands were sticky with it. The EMTs pushed Lanie and I out of the way as they put Kate's almost lifeless body on a stretcher.

I saw a flash of red hair as my daughter ran over to me and threw her arms around me so tightly I thought she was going to knock the wind out of me. "Dad," she cried out, "I can't believe it."

"I know sweetie. I can't either."

"Will it all be okay?" she asked burying her head into my shoulder.

"I don't know," I said telling her the truth like I always do. "Alexis, I need you and Gram to go home."

"No. We're staying with you," she argued.

I didn't have the energy to fight her so I gave her another squeeze before I said, "Okay sweetie. Get Detective Ryan to drive you and Gram over to the hospital; I'm staying with Kate."

"Okay Dad. I love you."

"I love you too."

I turned back to the ambulance where they were loading Kate. Jim Beckett was standing there looking numb. There were tears in his eyes and he was shaking. I wanted to say something to him, to comfort him in some way; but I felt too guilty about not protecting his daughter like he asked me to. "Rick," he said softly, "go with her."

I nodded to him and turned to the closest EMT, "Can I go with her?"

"Are you family?" the EMT asked me.

"Yes," Jim, Lanie, and I all answered at the same time.

"Get in then."

I sat down next to her and grabbed a hold of her pale frail looking hand with my shaky one. "You can't leave me Kate. I need you."

Lanie looked at me with sad eyes as she got in to before they closed the door and sped off to the hospital. "She'll be okay Castle; she has to be."

"She has to be," I agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**A/N: I was more than slightly flattered when I saw that I have 271 hits, 255 viewers, 7 people alerted my story, and 3 people favorited it (is favorited even a word?) Thank you so much to everybody who took the time to read my story; it really does mean a lot to me. Well here's another chapter. I had a lot of this one going into both Castle's and Josh's POV. Yes I know, I brought in stupid doctor-motorcycle-boy, but the fact is he is defenitely going to be playing a part in the season four finale (even though most of us would like nothing better than for him to fall off the face of the earth.) Well I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

**I only own Castle and Fix You in my dreams.**

**~Rose**

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><p>"When you get what you want but not what you need"<p>

Castle:

When we got to the hospital Kate was immediately taken into surgery as was expected. The waiting room seemed calm but the worry was evident. Sitting across from me was Lanie and Esposito, holding hands while Lanie cried into his shoulder. Ryan was on the phone with Jenny letting her know what was going on. Jenny had been away visiting her mother, so she wasn't able to make it to the funeral. Alexis was sitting there tears in her eyes while my mother comfortingly stroked her arm. It hurt so much to see the pain in all these people that love Kate. This was all my fault. Like me, Jim was staring off into the distance, looking completely lost. Tears were also in his eyes, but I could tell he was trying not to cry. I wanted to break down and cry like I haven't done since I was a small boy, but what good would it do? It wouldn't help Kate to be okay.

Lanie tried to wipe away her tears; clearly trying to be stoic. "Javier," she began weakly.

"Shh, Lanie," he said comfortingly, "it's okay to be upset. Your best friend was just shot."

"I know, but you're cops, it's one of the hazards of the job."

"That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be upset." She set her hand on his cheek and he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back.

Part of me ached inside, knowing that I might never get to tell Kate I loved her again. Part of me also knew I shouldn't have told her that in the first place. She wasn't mine to tell that too. She was with Josh. Sighing, I rested my elbows on my knees and placed my head in my hands. _She has to be okay_.

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><p><span>Josh:<span>

I had just spent six hours performing surgery on a middle aged woman who had been in a bad car accident. I wanted nothing better than to go home, have a stiff drink, and go to bed; but I knew that probably wasn't going to happen.

"Hello Dr. Davidson," a passing nurse told me as she rushed past, "we have another surgery."

"What do we have?"

"Bullet to the chest. An inch away from the heart."

"When do we start?" I asked trying not to show emotion. In my job you see people die all the time; it's better to try not to get emotional.

"Ten minutes."

I walked towards the waiting room to tell the family of my previous surgery that it went well. I was almost there when I looked up to see none other than Richard Castle shakily holding a cup of cafeteria coffee. "Rick? What are you doing here?" I asked, slightly stunned.

"You didn't hear?" he asked, pain in his voice. He looked into my eyes and said in a soft but almost emotional voice, "It's Kate. She was shot."

A wave of emotion hit me. _Please don't let Kate be the one who was shot near the heart_, I thought desperately. "What happened," I asked, my voice now the one that was pained.

"We were at Montgomery's funeral. I saw a flash of light and next thing I knew I was over Kate holding my jacket to the wound in her chest."

Rick was clearly a wreck and I didn't blame him; his partner was just shot in the chest. _My girlfriend_ was just shot in the chest. I was a doctor I had to go deal with this.

"Go back and stay with your family Rick; I have to go into surgery."

"You have to perform her surgery don't you?" Castle asked me.

"Yes," I said sadly.

"She says you're a good surgeon Josh. Save her life," he almost pleaded.

"I'll try," I said not wanting to make any promises I cannot keep, "I'll try."

Castle walked back to the waiting room and I rushed off to my next surgery, forgetting about the family of my previous one.

"Dr. Ramsey, how bad is it?" I asked the surgeon in charge as I entered the room.

"Pretty bad. We have to start soon; she doesn't have long," he answered grimly.

I looked down at Kate's unmoving body. She looked horrible, as pale as the white walls around us. "Kate," I almost whispered lightly touching her hand.

"You know her?" Dr. Ramsey asked me.

"She's my girlfriend," I admitted.

"I'm so sorry Josh," he said softly, then hardening his tone slightly he added, "Josh get out of here. You can't perform this surgery."

"You know I'm a good surgeon Jack; she needs as many good surgeons as possible."

"You'll be distracted Josh. Get out of here or I'll fire you."

I took one last look at my dying girlfriend, whispered "I love you Kate," and stormed off.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

I couldn't stay still any longer. I started pacing; if just to give myself something to do. It had been six long emotional hours since Kate was shot. Ryan was on the phone with Jenny again , who was now on her way back from her shortened vacation. Lanie and Esposito silently held hands while they both stared at the floor. My mother was comforting Jim while Alexis, my angel, was doing a coffee run for everyone. As cliché as it is, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"Richard sit down," my mother said, "you're going to wear a whole in the floor."

I didn't answer her but I slumped back down into my chair.

"Family of Detective Katherine Beckett?" a tall middle aged doctor asked.

"Yes," Jim and I answered at the same time, "how is she?"

"I am Dr. Ramsey; I just performed Ms. Beckett's surgery. The bullet hit her close to the heart; another inch closer and she would have been gone. We were able to remove the bullet but it did collapse a lung and cause some liver damage. She was very fortunate. It will be a long slow process, but she is going to make a full recovery."

The relief in the room came n an overwhelming rush. Ryan was almost crying while he told Jenny the good news. Esposito and Lanie hugged, as did my mother and Alexis. Jim looked up, traces of hope in his eyes. "Can we see her?" he asked softly.

"Well, I would love to say yes but she hasn't woken up yet and we think it would be better if she didn't have any visitors until the morning," the doctor answered honestly.

"Oh," was all Mr. Beckett could reply.

"You should all probably get some sleep; you can come see her in the morning," Dr. Ramsey encouraged.

No one got up to leave but finally Ryan said, "Jenny is only fifteen minutes from home now; I should go be with her."

"I should go back to the precinct and see if they got anywhere with finding the shooter," Esposito admitted. Turning to Lanie he wrapped his arm around her waist and whispered, "Come on Lanie, you need sleep."

Lanie looked reluctant about leaving as her eyes met mine. "Go guys," I told them, "I'll text you if anything happens."

Lanie and Esposito left leaving me with my family, Kate's dad, and Ryan. Ryan and I shared a long sad look. "Martha, Alexis, would you like me to drive you home?" the detective asked after I gave him a nod telling him I wasn't leaving the hospital.

"I'm not leaving you Dad," Alexis stated standing up.

"Go home," I said sternly, "go with Detective Ryan. I'll update you guys if anything happens."

"You really need sleep Richard," Martha told me showing the mothering side she didn't bring out often.

"I want to be here. I need to be here for Kate. I need to see her."

"Richard you heard the doctor; you won't be able to see her until the morning anyways."

"Go home Mother."

I had to promise I would be fine and that I would text them if anything happened half a dozen times, but the two red heads finally gave up and left with Ryan. It was just me and Jim now. "It's not your fault you know," Jim said softly when we were alone.

"You told me to protect her," I whispered more to myself than him.

"You did Rick. You dragged her out of the hangar where she would have gotten herself killed. You heard what the doctor said; if you hadn't have pushed her down when you did at Montgomery's funeral that bullet would have killed her. You would have taken that bullet for her Rick. You did all you could to protect her; if anyone didn't protect her it's me."

"I didn't do enough," I choked out with heavy emotion in my voice.

"You have no idea how much you've saved her. Even before you too met you saved her in a way; your books were the only thing that kept her sane after Johanna died. Then she met you and everything changed; she sated laughing again, she started smiling more, she started living. I got my daughter back because of you."

I could tell from the look on Jim's face he was being sincere. I never realized how much I had affected Kate. I thought back to when we first met. She had a sense of darkness around her that she didn't want people to shine a light through. She had changed a lot in the past three years, but then again, so had I.

"Rick you need to be there when she wakes up and you need to tell her how you feel about her," Jim said lightly gripping my arm.

I was going to tell him I had already done that before she lost consciousness but the words wouldn't come. Instead I said, "What about Josh?"

"What about him?" Jim asked me, "It isn't Josh Kate talks about every time we talk Rick; it's you."

My chest swelled and tightened with emotion. Jim was right; I needed to tell her how I felt about her. I took my head in my hands again and finally let the tears fall.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. It is mainly composed of flashback scenes from "Knockdown" and "Knockout" with references from "A Deadly Game" and "Countdown". We go into Josh's head again and get to learn a bit about his and Beckett's relationship. Anyways, enjoy.**

**I do not own Castle and Fix You, but I like to pretend I do ;)**

**~Rose**

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><p>"When you feel so tired but you can't sleep"<p>

Castle:

I had gotten no sleep so far, and I knew I wouldn't be getting any soon. Beside me Jim was in an uneasy looking sleep, but I was destined to be awake all night. There was a lot floating around my head, making my mind uneasy. The fight I had with Kate in her apartment was looming over my head like a pesky rain cloud. _"Walk away. They're gonna kill you Kate,"_ I had told her,"_If you don't care abut that, at least think about how this is going to affect people who love you. Do you really want to put your dad through that? What about Josh?"_

_ Anger had passed through her eyes when she said, "And what about you Rick?" She rarely called me Rick. It was always Castle._

I knew I should have told her I loved her right then and there, but I couldn't. I downplayed my feelings for her._ "Of course I don't want anything to happen to you; I'm your partner, I'm your friend."_

_ She almost scoffed as she snapped, "Is that what we are?"_

I regret what I said next, but I was frustrated with her mixed signals._ "Well I don't really know what we are. We kiss and we never talk about it! We nearly die frozen in each others arms but we never talk about it! So no, I have no clue what we are! I know I don't want to see you throw your life away!" _It was true, I really didn't know whatwewere; but I did know what I was: very much in love.

_ "Yeah well last time I checked it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years I've been running around with the schools funniest kid, and it's not enough!" _ she snapped.

_ "You know, this isn't about your mother's case anymore; this is about you needing a place to hide. Because you've been chasing this thing so long you're afraid to find out who you are without it."_

_ "You don't know me Castle! You think you do, but you don't!"_

_ "I know you crawled inside your mother's murder and didn't come out. I know you hide there the same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy; but you're afraid."_

_ "You know what we are Castle? We are over. Now get out."_

It killed me when she told me we were over and then kicked me out of her apartment, but it killed me even more that I wasn't able to get through to her.

The next time I saw her was when I carried her away from the hangar. She was begging me to put her down, but I wouldn't. She would have gotten herself killed in there if I hadn't have carried her out; and I couldn't let that happen. Holding her to that car, feeling her breath warm on my face; I wanted so much to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. I almost did when she put her hand on my face. She was so scared, so emotional, and so beautiful in that moment. It saddened me that I couldn't comfort her like she deserved to be comforted. Then after the final shot went off, Kate throwing herself over Roy's cold, still body was heart breaking.

So many people had been killed or tortured over the kidnapping of those mobsters; so many innocent people. I remembered when we had first been on Lockwood's trail months ago and he held Ryan and Esposito captive because they had come closer than any one else to finding him. It was then that I realized how dangerous this all was; that it was about much more than just the kidnapping of mob members.

Beckett had looked so desperate when she told me she was open to dumb ideas to get past the guard so we could get to the boys. I was pretty good at coming up with dumb ideas on the spot and I told her we should act like we're drunk to distract the guard. She agreed and we stumbled out of the car together sticking to our act. _"It's not working Castle,"_ she whispered in my ear.

I don't know if it was the fact that I knew we had to do something—and quick—to distract the guard or the overwhelming passion I had for the woman in front of me that made me do it, but as she reached for her gun I tore her hand off it and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She looked stunned as she pulled away but she clearly noticed that our make out session had distracted the guard so she pulled me to her for another round. It was just enough of a distraction and allowed her to whip around and knock the guard down. I loved how amazing she was. I wish I had told her sooner. Maybe if I hadn't have gone off with my ex wife to the Hamptons to escape seeing her with Demming the previous summer things would have been different.

My thoughts were interrupted then by Dr. Ramsey entering the waiting room. "Is she okay?" I asked panicked.

"She is fine. I came out to tell you that she is stable enough for visitors now."

My heart lifted slightly and I turned to see Jim still asleep in his chair. "I need to see her," I told the doctor.

"I figured you would," he replied leading me down the long dreary hallway to ICU.

Kate was pale and frail looking in her bed. She looked like I could break her with a single touch. There were tubes everywhere and the heart monitor beside her was beeping softly. "Kate." It was a whisper, almost feather soft on my lips. I sat down beside her, grabbing her thin hand.

"Kate, I need to you to be strong. I know you can, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. I'll be here for you Kate. Always. I love you."

* * *

><p><span>Josh:<span>

I needed to see my girlfriend. Standing outside her room I saw Castle sitting next to her, holding her hand. I knew what he felt for her and his words _"I'll be here for you Kate. Always. I love you." _ confirmed it.

My body ached to rush in there and punch Castle in the face for telling _my girlfriend_ that he loved her; but my mind knew it wouldn't do any good. I would just lose Kate anyways; I knew she felt the same way about him.

It had been two nights after Kate and Castle were locked in that freezer. She had been having a nightmare about it and was talking in her sleep; replaying her conversation with Castle. The last words she would always say were, "I want you to know how much I love you."

There was nothing I could do. I walked away from Kate's room, fully knowing I would have to end it with her like I should have after I found out her feelings for Castle.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**A/N: Thank you so much to you people who have taken the time to read this. I warn you now I was up all night "Castleing" so I had no sleep so my authors note could be long and full of random ramblings. Well sorry that this chapter is shorter, but I really wanted it to stand on its own. This was another really fun one to write because I finally get to go into Kate Beckett's head. Let me tell you, it's an interesting place to be. This one has a lot of flash back scenes too (basically the same ones Castle had) but obviously these are from Beckett's point of view. Anyways, this wasn't as long as I was afraid it would be, but I really should shut up now and let you read.**

**Nope, I still don't own Castle or Fix You. Darn.**

**~Rose**

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><p>"Stuck in reverse"<p>

Beckett:

_The guard was staring at us almost smirking; it wasn't working. "He's not buying it Castle."I went to grab my gun but Castle's hand was already there pulling mine away. His lips were on mine, pulling me closer. The shock of Richard Castle's lips on mine was enough to make me pull away. His blue eyes pierced into mine, hungry for more. There was no guard, no Lockwood, no anything; there was only him. Then my lips were back on his, his hands were tangled in my hair, and I was trying to pull myself closer and closer. He was there. I don't know what the hell I was doing kissing him. This was Richard Castle; the man who had been a pain in my ass for the past three years. That wasn't true though; he had been helpful more times than I could count. As painful as it was I pulled away from the kiss and took down the guard. We couldn't keep this up._

_I shouldn't have kissed him; I was with Josh. True enough I was only with Josh because Castle broke my heart when he left last summer to go to the Hamptons with Gina. I had broken it off with Tom Demming after Esposito made me realize Tom wasn't who I had feelings for: Castle was. I wanted to tell him what I felt; I was about to, but then Gina walked in changing everything._

Floating. That's what it felt like I was doing. I was floating within my own body; my mind disconnected to everything else. I didn't know where I was or why I cannot think clearly. My mind was stuck in reverse; I was trapped in old memories.

What had happened to me? Was I dreaming? Shreds of memories—at least I think they were memories; they could have been dreams—flashed through my head. There was a fight with Castle. He had been in my apartment. His eyes were passionate, flecked with anger. I had been furious. I didn't know why now. _"You know what we are Castle? We are over. Now get out." _Why had I been kicking Castle out? Then there was another memory_. I was crying, in complete hysterics,_ _and Castle was holding me to a car. His hand was over my mouth, trying to silence me, and mine was over his. My other hand slid up and rested on his cheek. There were shots being fired in the background. _Shots? What the hell happened?

I couldn't open my eyes and there was pain shooting through my body. My chest felt like it was being ripped apart. Then there it was; the flash of a memory that could explain everything.

_We were at a funeral—Montgomery's funeral—and I was giving the eulogy. One moment I was speaking and the next I was on the ground with Castle over me. Pain was searing through my chest, but I couldn't tell him that; I couldn't speak. "Kate! Kate, shhh…," Castle begged, "Kate, please, stay with me." I wanted to tell him that I wasn't going anywhere. " Stay with me Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?" The tears welling up in his eyes broke my heart. I wanted to reach out, to touch his face and tell him it would all be okay. " Kate." I couldn't stand his pain. Then he said those four little words, " Kate, I love you." I had been waiting so long to hear those words; so very long. His ice blue eyes were full of emotion as he said them again, "I love you Kate." I had to hold on for Castle; I couldn't leave now. I tried, I fought, I lost. My eyes closed. _

I was finally brought into the moment. I had been _shot_. I needed to open my eyes. _Castle_. I needed to open my eyes for him. I needed to see him. It took all my strength but I managed to open my eyes. He was sitting next to me and holding my hand.

"Cas-tle," I croaked.

"Shh, Kate. I'm here."

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><p><strong>AN: Ha ha! Cliff hanger. ;) Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**A/N: Well this will be the last chapter I'm uploading for a while because I'm going to visit some family for a while and I won't have internet. I have no clue when I'll be back, but hopefully this will tie you over until then. This chapter is pretty angsty and not what most Caskett fans want, but bear with me. I'm trying to be realistic and realistically Castle and Beckett are not going to get together immediately. Anyways I truly hope you enjoy it.**

**I had a dream where Castle and Fix You belonged to me, but then I woke up.**

**~Rose**

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><p>"And the tears come streaming down your face"<p>

Castle:

"Kate," I whispered. Her eyelids fluttered closed and open again. I squeezed her hand tighter.

"Castle," she said so lightly I could barely hear it. She gave me a small pained smile. Leaning over her, I moved a stay hair out of her face.

"Kate I lo—" I started. I couldn't let myself say those words again. I wanted to so very much, but I couldn't. Not while she was with Josh. "I'm so glad you're okay," I finally said.

"You look like crap Castle," she said, her voice still sounding strained.

"What, you don't like the crumpled clothes and facial hair look?" I asked her trying to sound like my usual self.

She closed her eyes again and took a shallow ragged breath. "Castle nothing feels real."

I absent mindedly started stroking her hair with my free hand. "I know what you mean. It doesn't feel real to me either." I really wanted to tell her how much I loved her right now but instead I settled for, "I'll be here for you. Always."

"All the memories are foggy. I can't separate fact from fiction," she sadly admitted.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Her eyes looked so lost. It was scary to see her like this; she wasn't the confident woman I was used to seeing.

"I don't know. I'm only getting them in bits and pieces. I remember something about being in a hangar and there was shots being fired in the distance. Then the next thing I remember is being at Montgomery's funeral and getting shot. What the hell happened in between and how did Montgomery die?" she asked, short of breath by the end of it.

"I don't think now is the time for all that Kate. Maybe we should wait until you're better," I told her. I was concerned; she didn't remember what had happened and I didn't want to upset her by telling her.

Anger flashed across her face and then she grimaced from the pain. "Just tell me what's going on Castle."

I didn't want to tell her but I knew she wouldn't let it go if I didn't. "What do you know about Lockwood?"

"He killed Raglan and tortured Ryan and Esposito. We caught him and I've been visiting him in jail every week since trying to get him to tell me who hired him."

"Well he bribed his way into general population and killed MacCallister. He got men dressed as cops to set off a flash bomb at the hearing allowing him to escape. Long story short, turns out Montgomery was the third cop, but he has been trying to make up for it since he accidently shot Bob Armen all those years ago. He called you and told you to go to the hangar to bait Lockwood. He also called me and told me to come and do what he said." There had been much more to the phone call then that.

_"Castle. I need you to do this for me," _Montgomery had told me,_ "I'm going to call Beckett and tell her to meet me at the hangar where we found the stolen chopper. I'm going to tell her some important information about her mother's murder and then I will call you in. When I tell you to Castle, you take her out of there."_

_"But—," _I began.

_"No Castle, do what I say. If you love her like I know that you do, you will get her out of there when I tell you to."_

_"Yes sir."_

I looked at Beckett's upset face. It killed me to do it, but I continued, "He called me in and told me to get you out of there."

"That's why I have a memory of you holding me to a car," she said more to herself than me.

"Yes. I know you'll hate me for this but I held you to that car while Lockwood and Montgomery shot each other. I'm so sorry Kate."

Kate looked sick. "The captain made you," she said simply.

"Yes, he did. Then at his funeral while you were giving the eulogy, I saw the light of the barrel and I rushed towards you but it was too late. You had been hit." I was trying not to cry; reliving Kate's near death experience with her was emotional. She gave my hand a little squeeze. "Do you remember from that point?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, "I remember you knocking me down to the ground and begging me to stay with you. I remember the pain in my chest."

_She didn't remember I told her I love her._ "Anything else."

"No that's it."

"Oh." I was sad she didn't remember, but I knew it was for the best. I really shouldn't have told her that in the first place; she was with Josh after all.

"Have the guys found the shooter yet?" she finally asked after moments of silence.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Well how long until I can get out of here and help?"

No! I couldn't let her go back to that case, her mother's or not; it was too dangerous. I couldn't let her go get herself killed. "You are not going back on that case," I said with more anger in my voice than I meant to put there.

Anger flared in her eyes as she pulled her hand from mine. "It's my mother's case Castle. I am not giving up!"

"I can't let you get yourself killed Kate!" I snapped back, knowing this conversation would not go any better now than it did back in her apartment.

"It's my life Rick!"

"I know that Katherine! But there are people who care about you!"

"Don't call me Katherine! Why the hell are you here?" She tried to sit up and winced from the pain. I knew this fight couldn't be good for her healing; her blood pressure must have been elevated by now.

"You were shot," I said stung by her comment. I knew it wasn't what she meant, but I wasn't about to read more into it.

"I don't mean here at the hospital," she started confirming my suspicions, "I mean why haven't you stopped shadowing me? I obviously drive you crazy."

"I don't want to stop. I won't leave you. Nothing can make me."

"Then help me with my mother's case."

"Stop it Kate. We'll have this argument at another time. You need rest now."

"Castle," she said scarily calm, "get out."

This made it twice lately that she kicked me out. I had so many things to say to her right now. I could tell her that I love her again, I could succumb to what she wanted, I should try to convince her that her mother's case wasn't worth getting over. I did none of these things; instead I walked away.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

That man drove me crazy! First he tells me he loves me as I was lying on the ground then doesn't bring it up, and now he wants me to give up my mother's case! I think he tried to make me do that before (part of our conversation was too similar to flash backs of him being in my apartment before Montgomery died). He didn't get the fact that I _needed_ to find my mother's killer. Her murder had become a part of me; Josh would understand.

_Josh._ My absentee boyfriend. He didn't even know my mother was murdered. Castle knew; Castle knew everything. And now I had just kicked him out.

_Stop it Kate, _I thought to myself, _Josh is your boyfriend not Castle; stop wishing it was the other way around._

My chest felt like it was on fire again. I could barely keep my eyes open; I didn't realize I was so tired. I allowed my eyes to close and let myself succumb to sleep; Richard Castle on my mind.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

_That woman is the most frustrating woman I've ever met! _I was now sitting on the floor in the hallway outside of Kate's room. The hospital staff gave me strange looks as they passed; but didn't say anything. Jim, now clearly awake, walked towards the room with a small bouquet of flowers.

"What are you doing out here Rick?" the older man asked me.

"She kicked me out."

"Why?"

"I told her she couldn't go back to investigating her mother's murder."

"Ah, that would do it," he said sombrely, "she's just being stubborn. If _you_ keep trying to convince her to stop she will."

"I hope so. I can't lose her."

"Neither can I. After Johanna died I fell to pieces. I completely lost it. If I lost Katie too it would be unbearable. It isn't me I'm worried about though Rick. If Katie were to die I know it would kill you. I see the way you look at her Rick; it's the same way I looked at Johanna." With that he walked into Kate's room; leaving me in the hallway. Screw being strong; I let the tears stream down my cheeks.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope this isn't too much of a cliff hanger. It could be worse; my next chapter is an extremely crucial one and has an evil witch of a cliff hanger. Be glad I'm leaving now and not after the next chapter. **

**~Rose**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**A/N: I FOUND INTERNET! That means you guys get another chapter. I had a lot of fun with this one and I truly hope you enjoy it (I say that about every chapter don't I?) Anyways I'll be leaving a note at the end so I'm going to shut up now.**

**If I owned Castle and Fix You I wouldn't be writing fanfics about them so maybe it's better that I don't.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"When you lose something you can't replace"<p>

Jim:

Katie was asleep when I entered her room. My daughter had so many tubes and machines hooked up to her that it was almost impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. She wasn't as pale as she had been right after she was shot, but she was still pretty white. Her dark hair was splayed across her face as she slept. She looked so small under those sheets; if she had looked more peaceful it would have reminded me of when she was younger.

Not wanting to disturb her sleep I didn't get too close to the bed. "I wish you could see how much people care about you Katie," I whispered even though she couldn't hear me, "Your life is far more important than solving her murder. She is dead but you're not, and I want it to stay that way. I wish you would wake up and see how much Rick loves you. And most importantly, I wish that I had the courage to tell you all this when you're awake."

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

Coffee in hand I headed back to the waiting room. She may have kicked me out of her room, but she couldn't kick me out of the hospital. Getting one coffee was difficult; I was so used to getting Beckett a coffee when I got mine that my mind automatically wanted to get her one too.

I was angry that she wouldn't listen to me. We had, had this argument before and look what happened when she didn't listen to me then: she got shot. _Maybe Jim would be able to talk her out of it_, I thought hopefully. I knew I wasn't being realistic but all I could do was hope.

Lanie, the boys, and my mother and daughter were sitting in the waiting room when I got there. "How did you guys get here?" I asked Alexis.

"Detective Ryan picked us up," she replied handing me an overnight bag, "I brought you a change of clothes."

"Thanks sweetie," I replied taking the bag and kissing the top of her head.

"How is she?" Lanie asked looking like she had gotten no sleep (which she probably hadn't).

"In pain but stubborn as ever," I said with a small eye roll.

"I take it she's awake then," Ryan added.

"Yeah she's awake," I replied.

"Why aren't you in there bro?" Esposito asked.

"Jim is in there at the moment," I said only telling half of the truth.

"I'm going to go see her," Lanie added in to the conversation.

"I'm going to go get a coffee," Ryan states, "anyone want anything?"

Everyone said they were fine and Ryan set off to go get his coffee. Lanie turned and walked in the direction of Kate's room, leaving me with Esposito and the two red heads.

"Castle?" Esposito started.

"Yeah?"

"How are you?" he asked concern in his voice.

"Fantastic," I said sarcastically.

He gave me an understanding look and slowly reached into his jacket. Pulling out a large, thick envelope and handing it to me he spoke again, "Mrs. Montgomery brought this to the precinct. She said that Roy asked her to mail it before he died with the rest of their mail, but she saw your name on it and decided to bring it directly to the precinct."

I took the envelope and thanked him. He told me he was going to go join Lanie in Beckett's room and asked Martha and Alexis if they wanted to join him. They accepted and the three of them set off to the ICU. I was left with the envelope and my own thoughts. _Did I really want to open it; did I really want to see what was inside?_ _I have to do it for Kate. _

I slowly opened the envelope and pulled the thick files out of it. There was a letter from Roy which I read quickly, before looking at the files. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the same name over and over again. The name of the man who had Johanna Beckett killed.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

I was surrounded by people when I woke up. Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, my father, Alexis, and Martha were all standing there waiting for me to open my eyes. I opened them again and searched for the face I wanted to see but Castle wasn't there. I knew I shouldn't want to see him but even when I was mad at him, his presence always made me smile.

"How ya doin girl?" my best friend asked me walking over and grabbing my hand.

"Fine Lanie," I said trying not to sound as tired and in pain as I was.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Castle's daughter asked me, her blue eyes wide with worry.

I felt horrible that she had to worry about me. She shouldn't have had to see me get shot. "I'm fine Alexis, I promise."

"I'm glad you're okay kiddo," Martha said lightly squeezing my good shoulder.

"Where's Castle?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she replied honestly."

"Maybe we should go look for him Gram," Alexis told her grandmother, "He's been gone for a while."

"Richard will be fine darling."

"Well I'm going to look for him." Alexis turned around and walked out of the room to go find her father.

"Go with her Martha," I told the elder red head, wanting to be alone with Lanie and the boys, "you should go with her too Dad."

Getting the hint Martha and my father said their goodbyes and left the room.

"Have you found the shooter yet?" I asked turning my head towards Esposito.

"Not yet," he answered.

"Ay leads?" I asked Ryan.

"No," he responded. Neither one of them said anything else. It was like Castle had already gotten to them and told them not to tell me anything.

I went to ask more questions but Esposito made some lame excuse that he had to go back to the precinct and left with Ryan in tow.

Once they were gone Lanie turned towards me and crossed her arms. "Now tell me why writer boy isn't in here nursing you back to health. He hasn't left the hospital since you were brought here so why isn't he in here now?"

"We got in a fight," I admitted, "he told me not to go back on my mother's case."

"Yeah well he told you that before and you didn't listen and you got shot, so maybe you should listen to him this time girl."

"I can't Lanie. I can't give up."

"I'm not going to argue with you right now Kate; I'm just saying, that you should give Castle a break. He's only trying to protect you. He cares about you Kate, whether you want to see it or not."

I sighed. She was right; I knew Castle was only trying to protect me. And I knew he more than cared about me; he loved me.

"Girl what's on your mind? I can tell there is something you're not telling me."

I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it from her for long. "He told me he loves me."

Lanie smiled widely, "When?"

"After I was shot. It was when I was lying on the ground and he was over me."

"The timing sucks but at least he said it. I know you love him too, even though you'll never say it, so you should do something about it."

"What if he was only saying it because he thought I was dying."

"Honey, that man has been in love with you for ages. If you don't do something about it I'ma gonna hit you."

_The fates must have a sense of humour_, I thought as Josh chose that moment to walk into my room. I didn't believe in the fates but it's something Castle would have said.

"Hey Kate," Josh said coming over to give me a quick kiss on the fore head, "how are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot in the chest."

Lanie gave me a "you better listen to me" look before she exited the room leaving me with my boyfriend.

"Josh I think we need to talk," I told him deciding to take the leap.

"I know you love him Kate. Everyone can see that you love him and he loves you. I'm not here for you like I should be, and he would be. It's been amazing Kate, and I'll never forget it but I think we both knew it could never work."

"Thank you Josh," I said quietly. I wasn't expecting him to make this so easy. I was expecting a fight.

"I'll miss you Kate," he said kissing my forehead, "you're an amazing woman."

"I'll miss you too Josh."

Josh walked out of the room and I knew what I had to do next. It was time to face my emotions. I had to give Castle a shot. I was always afraid that he would break my heart again like he did when he left with Gina, but now I could see that I was the one breaking his heart; and it had to stop. I finally had hope for us.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And Doctor-motorcycle-boy is gone! Anyways I'll let you get back to reading now.**

* * *

><p>TWO DAYS LATER<p>

Castle:

I hadn't seen Kate since our fight. I couldn't go back there; not know the information I knew now. I took another look at the three letters in front of me. One was the one Montgomery left for me and the other two were from me for Kate and for Ryan and Esposito. I reread Montgomery's letter for what had to be the hundredth time in the past two days. I had it memorized by now.

_Rick,_

_Since you are reading this I must be dead. You now know about all the terrible things I did. You probably hate me right now, as does Kate; but you have to know I tried to protect her. I am leaving you these files that will lead you to the man who hired Dick Coonan to kill Johanna Beckett and Hal Lockwood to kill John Raglan and Gary MacCallister; but you can not show them to Kate. She will die trying to solve this case. You are probably wondering why I left these to you and not to Ryan, Esposito, or another cop. Ryan and Esposito would end up going to Beckett, and you can't be sure if the other cops are dirty or not. When you get enough evidence to convict the man who did this, then you can ask Ryan and Esposito for help. Make Kate happy; she loves you_.

_Roy _

I sealed the letters I would leave for Kate and the boys and grabbed my suitcase. The files suggested that there was somewhere else I needed to be.

It was time to finally tell my family what was going o. They had known something was wrong but I refused to tell them until it was too late for them to change anything.

I gave Alexis a hug first and then my mother. She seemed shocked which didn't surprise me since I never hugged her. "What is wrong Richard?" she asked me.

"I'm leaving," I told them.

"No Dad! You can't!" Alexis almost screamed throwing her arms around me.

"I have you pumpkin; it's the only way I can protect Kate."

"And what about you Dad? Who's going to protect you?" Alexis asked angrily.

"She's a cop Richard. You're not. All you're going to do is put yourself in danger," Martha said attempting to reason with me.

I wasn't taking any of it. I knew I had to do this and they weren't going to stop me.

"I promise to be careful," I told them. I kissed my daughter on the top of the head and handed my mother the letters. "Can you make sure these to the boys and Kate?" I asked her.

"You must really love that woman," she responded taking the letters.

"I do." I gave my daughter another hug, grabbed my bag, and walked out of the loft. They didn't say anything else to try to stop me.

I knew Kate would be furious when she found out what I was doing. I got into the rental car knowing that I leaving everything behind. I was going to lose Kate and it killed me; but if losing her was the only way I could save her then this was my destiny.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay I'm fully prepared to recieve hate mail, but just to let you know i do have a plan so don't give up hope yet. **

**~Rose**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**A/N: Well I managed to get onto the internet again so, another chapter! (Don't get used to it; I don't know how often I'll actually be able to get on). I'm not sure about this chapter. I wrote it at like 3:30 this morning after no sleep so, yeah. Anyways I get to go into Ryan's POV so I'm happy. I'll shut up now.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"When you love someone but it goes to waste"<p>

Ryan:

The precinct felt too empty. Without Beckett and the cap there is just wasn't right. Beckett's desk was still covered with her things, awaiting her return; but the Captain's office was empty, reminding me that he was never coming back. I knew Jenny was worried about me—I had been more distant lately—but I just needed time.

"Yo Ryan, I'm going to check those security videos for the Simon case. You good with the paperwork?" my partner asked me.

"Yeah," I responded turning back to the huge stack of it on my desk.

Not long after Esposito left Martha Rodgers entered the precinct with a worried look.

"Martha? Is everything okay?" I asked her.

"I honestly can't tell you," the red head responded, "I don't know myself."

"What's going on?"

"I don't really know. Richard is gone and he asked me to give this to you."

"What? Castle is gone?"

"I don't know much about it Detective Ryan," she said shrugging sadly, "maybe the letter will explain it."

"Thank you Martha."

She smiled at me sadly and held up another letter, "I guess I better go give this to Kate."

"Beckett's gonna be pissed."

"Kiddo that is an understatement."

I chuckled softly. It definitely was an understatement.

As soon as Martha left I ripped open the letter.

_Kevin and Javier,_

_Kate is never going to forgive me for this; but I had to leave. Montgomery left me files saying who hired Coonan and Lockwood. I can't tell you who it is at the moment. I know withholding information on a crime is against the law, but you guys have to trust me. Montgomery also left me a letter stating that I can't tell Kate who it is because she will just get herself killed over it. I can't let that happen. He also told me not to tell you two until I have enough evidence against him that you guys can arrest him. I fully trust you but you know Beckett will find some way to pull the information out of you guys then she'll go after him. I can't apologize enough for what I am doing but it's the only way I can protect her. Please don't mention this letter to her. Tell her nothing. Protect her from herself._

_Castle_

What the hell was Castle up to? Yeah, Beckett was definitely going to be pissed.

"Yo Esposito," I called out when I found him five minutes later, "I have something for you to read, and your not gonna like it."

* * *

><p>TWO MONTHS LATER<p>

Beckett:

I don't know how many times I had read that letter since he left. It was threatening to rip at the creases where I had folded it, unfolded it, and folded it back up again. I don't know why I kept rereading it; I knew all the words by heart now. Those words still haunted me.

_Kate,_

_I am so sorry that I have to do this. I have to get away. You deserve to know everything, yet I can't tell you anything. I don't know when I'll be back but I promise one day I will come back. I don't know what else I can say Kate. As my mother one said to me, "For a writer I can never find the right words when it counts". I hope you and Josh are happy. Please watch over Alexis and my mother for me. I regret a lot Kate, but I will never regret meeting you; you're one of the most amazing people I have ever met. _

_Until we next meet,_

_Rick._

Although he didn't say the words in the letter (he barely said anything in the letter) I knew why he had left. He thought he was "protecting" me by leaving. I was a cop; I didn't need him to protect me.

Even though I tried not to be, I had been moody ever since he left (although I'm sure the fact that I had been shot just three days before that didn't help either). Ryan and Esposito hadn't been that much better though. We had a new captain now, Elizabeth Grayson, so we tried not to mention any of the events that had happened two months ago at work. The precinct would never be the same without Montgomery and Castle, and we were going to have to get used to that fact.

Castle claimed he would be coming back but I wasn't so sure. It hurt that he had left again, and I didn't know if I would forgive him this time if he did come back like I did last time when he left with Gina.

I sadly looked over to my bookshelf and saw my collection of Castle's books. I was going to have to move them; I don't think I could handle looking at them every day. I had only been back in my own apartment for about a week. I had been staying with my father before that because Dr. Ramsey didn't want me to stay by myself while I recovered. I still hadn't fully recovered yet but I was getting there. The pain in my chest wasn't as strong anymore, nor was it as frequent. I had been cleared for going back to work but I was on desk duty until further notice. They certainly wen't letting me anywhere remotely close to my mother's case. I itched to get back to field work, just to get my mind off Castle.

There was a knock at my door and I couldn't help secretly hoping it would be Castle. Opening it I saw the face of my best friend staring back at me.

"Hey girl," Lanie said holding out a box of cupcakes, "I think we deserve these."

"I think you're right."

"So how are you really?" she asked me. I pretended to be fine at work but Lanie clearly saw through that.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"No you're not. You're still pissed at him."

She was right; I was pissed at him, but I was more pissed at myself for letting him hurt me. "He's gone Lanie. I don't really care."

"Like hell you don't! Come on girl, I know you better than that. You're pissed that he broke your heart again."

"Lanie I don't care about Castle anymore. It's done."

"Katherine Beckett, you can stop lying to me right now. You were in love with him, and you're certainly not over it."

"Yes Lanie, I was in love with him. I feel like it was all wasted; I was ready to admit to him that I love him. You know how big of a step that is for me. I was finally ready to make the jump and what did he do? He left! Okay Lanie, sure I loved him, I still do, but he left; nothing is going to happen between us."

I angrily sat down on my couch and Lanie came over to sit next to me. "You know, if he shows his face again I'm gonna hit him," she said seriously.

"Thanks Lanie," I said smiling for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Do you want me to stay tonight?" she asked. It would be fun to have a girl's night but I knew she probably had already had plans with Esposito, and I didn't want to impose on them. I also didn't want anyone to feel like they had to take care of me; I was perfectly fine on my own.

"No that's okay," I told her, "now let's eat those cupcakes."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So the next chapter is going to be about Beckett's mom's case, but i still have no idea who I'm going to make "the dragon". If anyone has any ideas for me private message me (and I'll go to an internet cafe to check) and I'll take your ideas into consideration. **

**~Rose**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have recently learned a very important lesson: sleep is good. I have been far too busy writing lately to sleep and for the most part it's been lovely. But then I see chapters like this: full of mistakes and awkward sentence structure. Thanks to DeadPigeon for pointing this out so I could fix it. Since you guys are so amazing (you really are) I'll post chapter ten today too. **

**I don't own Castle or Fix You. If I did we wouldn't have to wait until September 19 for season four to start.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Could it be worse?"<p>

Castle:

_She was in danger. I needed to put my body in front of hers. The shot rang out. I ran. It was too late; the blood was already seeping through her clothes and onto my hands. I couldn't think; all I could do was beg her to stay with me. "Kate, I love you. I love you Kate." I looked down and she died in my arms._

I woke up with a start. "Kate!" I cried out, "Kate!" Then I remembered what was going on and where I was. I was in Philadelphia and Kate was safe and alive at home.

I had been gone for two months now and I still didn't have enough evidence to amount to anything. I had read over those files so many times I knew them by heart. I had been reading over the files again when I fell asleep.

I looked over at the clock and saw what time it was. Panicking I jumped off the couch in my hotel room. I had to be at a fundraiser in an hour. From reading the files I saw that the ME that was on Johanna Beckett's case was also on Diane Cavanaugh's, Jennifer Stewart's, and Scott Murray's. I had known that before but I never really connected it. The ME, Sam Barker, had a heart attack in 2005. His brother lived in Philadelphia; so I thought I would come here and see what he knew about his brother. Sam Barker's brother Marvin Barker was a well known senator and was going to be attending the "save the whales" fundraiser; therefore so was I.

I buttoned up my navy dress shirt and tried to find a tie that would match. Alexis usually was the one who helped me get dressed for things like this. Silly, I know, but it was tradition. I finally decided my maroon tie would work and I put it on, followed by my blazer. I was in no mood for a party, I hadn't been since before Kate was shot, but I would do what I had to.

I almost mechanically got into a cab and then out of it again when we got to the fundraiser. I was surrounded by a sea of people yet I had never felt so alone before. I scanned the crowd looking for Marvin Barker, but he couldn't be found. Finally I saw him standing next to an actress I didn't remember the name of that I had once seen in a movie. Making my way over there, I struggled to find my brightest smile. I casually walked past him and waited for him to make the first move.

"Richard Castle," Marvin called out. I smiled to myself: my plan had worked.

"Hello. Mr. Barker isn't it?"

"Call me Marvin. I must say, I am a huge fan. I especially like your Nikki Heat books. I still don't get why you killed off Derrik Storm though."

"I got bored with him," I said for what seemed like the thousandth time, "Nikki is much more interesting."

"That she is. So what is a New York City boy like yourself doing here in Philadelphia?"

"Just book stuff. I found out about this fundraiser and I had to come. My daughter Alexis is a huge whale lover and she'd kill me if I didn't go."

"Ah. You know the Mayor of New York right?"

"Yes."

"Say hi to him for me."

This was just the opening I needed. "You know the mayor?" I asked casually.

""Yeah, we were buddies when I lived in NYC."

_Perfect! _"Really? You lived in New York City?"

"Yeah. I grew up there. I lived there until my brother died six years ago."

He was playing perfectly to my hand. He just gave me the perfect opening. "Wait your brother died six years ago? Was your brother Sam Barker?"

"Yeah. Did you know him?"

"I knew of him. He was an ME. My friend knew him," I lied, "I heard he died of a heart attack."

"Heart attack? Ha! You're a mystery writer; doesn't it seem odd to you? A healthy, active, young male with no family history of heart problems dying of a heart attack. That was only a cover story. My brother did not die of a heart attack; he was murdered."

* * *

><p><span>Alexis:<span>

Two months. That's how long my father had been gone. Sure he phoned once a day to let us know he hadn't gotten himself killed yet; but it wasn't enough. He needed to be home with us; where I could make sure he was safe. His love for Detective Beckett had made him blind to the danger he was putting himself in. When I saw the blood on my dad's hands when the detective had gotten shot I thought it was him that got shot at first. I had a second of relief when I found out that it wasn't him; but then I was afraid for Detective Beckett's life. It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced. Even now although it had been two months since it happened, every time I closed my eyes at night, all I could see was the detective lying on the ground motionless and covered with blood while my father pleaded with her to stay alive. He told her he loved her too. I'm glad he finally did, but I wish he hadn't chosen to wait until she was dying in his arms to do it.

I knew Ashley would be here soon. He came over every day now. Since it was summer vacation, he was back in New York City, staying with his parents. Ashley was the one constant thing in my life right now with Dad gone to who-knows-where and Gram living in the bottom of the bottle of Jack Daniels. He listened to my constant rambling about how worried I was, and he was always there to comfort me.

I heard a light knock on the door before it opened and Ashley walked in. "Hey Alexis."

He gave me a quick kiss before I said hi back and we sat on the couch.

"Do you really think he's fine?" I asked Ashley for what had to be the sixtieth time.

"I'm sure he is," Ashley responded, "you don't have to worry about him so much, you know."

"He's my father Ashley. He went off on a wild hunt, and he doesn't know what he's doing. Of course I have to worry," I snapped. I instantly felt bad; Ashley was just trying to be reassuring and I was being mean.

"He knows what he's doing Alexis."

"What's he trying to accomplish?" I snapped back not even meaning to, "is he trying to get himself killed?"

"He's trying to protect the woman he loves," Ashley said back, snapping back at now, "If you were Detective Beckett and I was your dad, I would be doing the same thing."

"What if I didn't need protecting?" I knew I was being unfair now. I wasn't acting like myself. I was usually kind, especially to Ashley.

"Do you know what Alexis?" Ashley said suddenly furious, "I'm sick of this. I love you but we've been having the same argument everyday for two months and I'm done!" he got up and walked towards the door and I jumped up after him.

"Ashley wait!" I called out but he had already left, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

"Ryan, meet me in interrogation room two," I whispered to my partner as I passed his desk.

I had to talk to Ryan away from the prying ears of Grayson. Elizabeth Grayson was a bigger control freak than Beckett and she didn't want us anywhere near Johanna Beckett's case.

Ryan got to the interrogation room only moments after I did. "What's up?" he asked me.

"I got a call from Castle."

Ryan immediately walked over to the door and closed it. "What did he say?" Ryan asked quietly.

"He says there is something we have to investigate."

"What?"

"Sam Barker's murder."

"Sam Barker? You mean the ME that was on Beckett's mom's case?"

"Yeah."

"I thought he died of a heart attack."

"Apparently not."

"This could have major impact on Johanna's case," Ryan stated.

"I told you two to stay the hell away from this case!" Grayson snapped entering the room with a flourish.

"We have leads Captain," I told her.

"I don't care. I want you to step off Johanna Beckett's case. The last time you were involved with it Detective Beckett almost died," the captain said angrily.

I looked up at the door to see Beckett standing there looking like she was about to commit a homicide of her own. "My mother's case," she said coldly.

"Beckett," I started.

"Shut up Esposito," she snapped, "I thought things were bad before, but now you guys are working on this behind my back! You know how much this means to me. It's my mother's case. I thought you guys respected that. I've been asking myself over and over since this case reopened 'could it be worse?' I guess I got my answer."

"Beckett," Ryan tried to reason.

"I don't want to hear it Kevin," she snapped.

"Beckett go home," Grayson said calmly.

"Tell me what you guys found!" she demanded ignoring Grayson.

"Go home!" Grayson yelled this time.

"I need to know what's going on!"

"Go home or I'll fire you," Grayson bluffed.

Beckett gave up and stormed out of the precinct.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

><p>"Lights will guide you home"<p>

Castle:

It was time. Now that I knew the ME that was on Johanna Beckett's and her associates was murdered I was being led back home. I was running theories through my head of how the ME was threatened to not make the connection between the four murders public. He buried that information until something happened in 2005. Something must have happened that made him decide to talk, to finally give up that information, but he was murdered before he got the chance.

I had mixed emotions about going home. I was happy that I was going to see my mother and Alexis again, but I was afraid of seeing Kate. When I left things weren't great between us and me leaving would have driven that wedge further between us. Seeing her would make me feel guilty that I had information on her mother's case that I couldn't share with her. The best thing would be for me to avoid her when I get back but I couldn't do that. I needed to see her. Our reunion would probably involve her screaming at me, and I wouldn't try to stop her. Even if she hated me; I just needed to see her.

I zipped up my last bag and carried them out to the car I rented. It was twilight and the lights of the city were just coming on. It was a beautiful sight. I got into the car and let those lights guide me home.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

I was unbelievably pissed! Ryan and Esposito were probably at the precinct working on my mother's case while I was stuck here at home unable to do anything. Not only had Grayson kicked me out yesterday but she told me I had to take today off too. What if the boys had found information that could lead to the bastard behind all of this; did she expect me to just stay out of it? The way everyone was babying me and trying to keep me away from my mother's case was really starting to piss me off. She was my mother!

I grabbed some cold leftovers from the Chinese takeout I got yesterday and plopped down on the couch. I was wearing old sweats and a university sweatshirt that had belonged to my mom. I was fully intending on watching a rerun marathon of _Friends_ when I heard someone knock on my door. I figured it was probably Lanie. I didn't really want to answer it; I didn't think I was ready to talk to Lanie yet. She knocked again and I knew I couldn't avoid talking to her forever. "Yeah just a minute," I called out. I set my food on the coffee table and got up to answer the door.

Opening it, it wasn't Lanie's face looking into mine. It was Castle's.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I love fight scenes! They are fun to write. **

**I don't own Castle or Fix You (my twin sis Nik and I are saving up though ;) )**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And ignite your bones"<p>

Castle:

The look in her eyes made it hard for me to not grab her and kiss her. "Kate," I said softly, using her first name.

"Castle?"

It was one of those few times in my life when I couldn't think of something to say. "Can I come in?"

She looked hesitant bur finally mumbled, "Fine."

She clearly wasn't impressed that I was there. I didn't blame her considering the last time I saw her she was in the hospital and we had been fighting about her mother's case. I had told her to leave it alone and now I was the one who had been meddling with it.

After a few moments of silence Beckett finally turned to me and asked, "Where the hell were you Castle and what are you doing here now?"

I couldn't tell her the truth; she'd kill me. "I had to get away," I lied, "I couldn't stand it around here."

"And you didn't think to call?"

"I got the impression you didn't want to talk to me." I had seen this fight coming but I was far from ready for it.

"You just left Castle. You didn't even say goodbye." She looked hurt. Angry I had expected, but not hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"You think you can keep doing this Castle? You screw up then say you're sorry and expect everything to be okay. You leave then come back and expect me to act like you never left. I'm sick of it Rick."

I didn't know what I could say that would make her forgive me. She was rightfully pissed and anything I would say would just dig me further into a hole. "Kate—"

"Just stop Castle. You left, it was your choice; I don't care."

Hearing those words stung. I didn't know what made me do it, but before I could even think about it, I said the only honest thing since I got here. "I only left to protect you."

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

I had been right. He had left to protect me which could only mean one thing: he was working on my mother's case behind my back. The words I said three years ago when he first tried to reopen my mother's case came flooding back to me. _"You touch my mom's case and you and I are done,"_ I had said. I was so angry that he had dove into my personal business, yet without him I never would have found Coonan. He had been helpful with her case in the past, but now he had no business digging into it. Especially after he had told me to leave it alone. According to him I wasn't allowed to work on it, but he was; how was that not hypocritical? "Castle you better tell me the truth," I threatened, "have you been working on my mom's case?"

He looked like he was about to shake his head but I gave him a look and he softly said, "Yes."

"How could you Castle? You told me I wasn't allowed near it and now you're up and leaving your family to work on it. I want the bastard caught Castle but you shouldn't be the one to catch him."

"Is that what this is about?" he snapped.

"What?"

"_You_ have to be the one to catch him have you ever thought that maybe it would be better if someone else tried to solve it because you're too close to it?"

"You're not a cop Castle! You have no right to try to solve this!"

"I may not be a cop but I know more about it then any cop other than you."

"Why are you doing this Castle?"

"Because those victims deserve justice and because I care about you."

I was half hoping when I asked that question that he would say it was because he loved me, but he didn't. I was pushing him away just like I had pushed away every other guy who had ever cared about me. I had pushed away Will when I said I wouldn't go to Boston with him. I had pushed away Tom and Josh when I realized what I felt for Castle. And now I was pushing away Castle too. "Don't."

"Don't what?" he demanded.

"Don't care about me."

"I will never stop caring."

"Just go."

He left slamming the door like a twelve year old. I watched him leave, angry tears stinging my eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

* * *

><p><strong>AN: First of all I would like to apologize for the chapters getting all muddled up. I'm planning on deleting 8-10 then putting them back on in order. Sorry if that creates any inconvenience for anybody. Anyways onto the chapter itself now. I sorta kinda like this one. I've created a little side plot featuring Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie. Since Castle and Beckett don't want to get along I had to write something cute and fluffy. Enjoy.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And I will try to fix you"<p>

Castle:

The door slammed behind me as I entered the loft. I hoped my family wasn't home; I wasn't ready to see them yet. I was unbelievably frustrated with Katherine Beckett at the moment. She didn't understand how much I cared about her. I wasn't trying to be intrusive by getting involved in her mother's case; I was just trying to solve it before she got herself killed. She told me not to care about her. How could I ever stop caring about her? I loved her; I would take a bullet for her.

"Alexis?" my mother called out.

"No Mother," I said reluctantly, "it's me."

"Richard?"

"Yes Mother?" I asked more than a little afraid of how this reunion would go.

"You've been gone for two months and now you come back and say 'Yes Mother'! Where have you been?"

"I was in Philadelphia," I admitted, "I found the brother of the ME that was on Johanna Beckett and her associates cases. Turns out the ME didn't die of a heart attack; he was murdered."

"Richard I hope you know that this is far bigger than you can handle."

"I have to try Mother."

"You can't win this one kiddo."

Her words reminded me so much of the ones I said to Kate during one of our fights. I had told her we couldn't win this one and I was right. Montgomery had died and she had gotten shot. This was far from over and I wasn't going to give up but I didn't want anyone else I cared about to get hurt in the process.

"I know. That's what I'm afraid of."

"It won't help her if you get yourself killed," the older red head said looking concerned.

I didn't know what to say to that. My mother was right but if I told her that she would just try to get me to stop working on the case. I wasn't a cop; it wasn't my job to solve murders but I couldn't let this one go.

"Have you seen her?" my mother finally asked.

"Yes. I don't think she ever wants to see me again," I said truthfully.

"Oh Richard, she'll come around," Martha said setting her hand lightly on my shoulder.

"I know. Where is Alexis?"

"At Paige's eating a couple gallons of ice cream."

"Ice cream seems like a good idea right now."

"Count me in."

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

"Hey baby," Lanie said brushing past me.

"Hey," I said giving her a peck on the lips then pulling her in for more.

"Mmm. Dead body on the table," she reminded me, breaking away.

"Right." Since Beckett was forced to take the day off Ryan and I were on the case today. "What's the COD?"

"Well he has a fractured clavicle and contusions on the neck and shoulders but it was a gunshot to the heart that killed him."

"So he was beaten and then shot?" I asked. I looked down at the gunshot wound in the man's chest and remembered that only two months the woman who was like a sister to me was covered in blood from a wound similar to this. Luckily Beckett survived it unlike this man.

"Actually he was beaten, shot, and beaten again; his clavicle was broken post-mortem."

"Hmm. Ryan has his ex-wife up in interrogation; I'll go see what she has to say."

"Mmm, okay baby." I gave her another quick kiss before I went to find Ryan.

"Good thing Castle isn't here," Ryan said when I got up there.

"Why?" I asked. Castle was kind of a taboo subject when Beckett was around, but since she wasn't here we were free to talk about him.

"Because that was one of the dullest cases I have seen in a while. The crazy ex-wife confessed to beating the victim with a hammer, shooting him in the chest, and then beating him some more."

"She actually confessed?"

"And then laughed maniacally about it."

"Wow, Castle would have had a field day about how simple that was."

"Yeah. Do you think he's coming back?"

"With that lead he has about the ME? Yeah, he'll be back," I told my partner, "Plus he wouldn't leave Beckett."

"But he did; twice."

It was true; he had, but he had a good reason both times. "Yeah, but the first time was because he couldn't see her be with Demming, and the second was to protect her."

"Yeah. Hey Esposito didn't you have somewhere you needed to be?"

"Right. Whatever you do, if Lanie asks where I am tell her I'm—," I drew a blank. I had no clue what my cover story would be if Lanie asked. I hated sneaking around behind her back, but sometimes it was necessary.

"I'll come up with something if she asks," Ryan said.

"You suck at lying bro."

"Do you want her to know what you're doing or not?"

"Good point. Thanks man."

"No problem."

I exited the precinct, got in my car, and drove off to do one of the most important things I would do in my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What do you guys think Esposito is up to? Any guesses?**

* * *

><p><span>Jim:<span>

I had been watching some old home videos of Katie and Jo when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hi Dad," my daughter replied.

"Katie! How are you?" I asked happy that she called.

She didn't answer. Instead she just said, "He's back."

If Rick was back in town that would explain why I was hearing from my daughter for the first time in ages. "Do you want to meet me for lunch?"

"Yes. That would be perfect. Remys?"

"Sure. I'll see you there soon Katie."

"Thanks Dad."

I hung up and headed over to Remys as soon as possible. I could tell how much she loved Rick; it was written all over her face every time she talked about him. I liked Rick but I hated how he left for two months. It had killed her. She started pulling away from everyone. I had talked to her friends from the precinct; they told me what was really going on. She talked to Kevin and Javier about cases during work hours, but that was it. She still talked to Lanie but that was only because the forceful little woman would bang on Katie's door until she was forced to let Lanie in. She didn't phone me anymore either. Rick coming back could be good or bad. She could stay angry at him and pull away from everyone even more, or she could let him back into her life and everything could eventually straighten itself out. I loved my daughter and wanted everything to turn out for her. She needed to be happy again; it had been far too long. I only knew one person who would be able to make that happen: Richard Castle.

When we were seated in Remys and eating our burgers I finally asked her what she felt about Rick being back.

"I don't know Dad," she answered honestly, "I'm angry at him for leaving. Especially now. I found out the reason he had left is because he was working on Mom's case."

"Oh Katie," I said sympathetically, "you know he is only doing it because he cares about you."

"That's what he said too."

"I think you should forgive him Katie. Maybe not right now, but eventually. He loves you. He shouldn't be doing these things behind your back, but he is only doing them because he is afraid you will get hurt again. He knows you're a cop and it is a dangerous job, but he almost lost you once and it would kill him if that happened again. I know he hurt you Katie but you need to give him another chance."

She was close to tears now, which is not something I see often. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "I can't," she finally said. She was done her burger by this point and stood up. "I'm going home. I need to be alone."

"Katie wait. Just give me one more minute," I pleaded, "Katie you've always been there for me when I need a hand. You fixed me after I broke when your mother died. It's my turn Katie, and now you have to let me try to fix you."

"I'm not broken!" she snapped.

"Just talk to him," I said softly, "he deserves at least that much."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

**A/N: I'm finally home now! That means you guys are going to get nice long authors notes again (especially today. I won't blame you if you skip it.) Okay, so I'll start with apologizing for the slow update. I had a massive attack of writers block due to Beckett's mother's case. Then when I finally got over that there was an incident with boiling hot chicken broth being dumped all over my laptop and I (but that's another story.) Anyways, on to the chapter. I'm not really sure about this one. I wasn't overly pleased with this chapter cue. "And high up above or down below?" Anyways this chapter is pretty case heavy but I tried to put a bit of angst and fluff in there too. Reviews are fun :) (and I promise I don't have coffee access here so I might sleep (but I doubt it) so I won't read the reviews wrong and make random responses that have nothing to do with the review.) Maybe I shpuld possibly shut up now and let you read. Love you all, you are amazing for reading this.**

**In my mind I rule the Castleverse, in reality I'm just a crazy fan.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And high up above or down below"<p>

Ryan:

"Mrs. Barker can you tell me why your husband's murder was covered up by the heart attack story?" I asked the confused woman sitting across from my partner and I in the interrogation room. We had called in Sam Barker's wife to see if she could tell us something about her husband's death. We had to make it quick because Grayson was at some family function of hers but we didn't know when she would be back. Beckett would also be back to work tomorrow and if she caught us working on her mom's case she would commit two homicides of her own.

"We had to cover it up. Marvin was just getting into politics and if it got out to the media that his brother had been murdered who knows what it would have done to his campaign," she replied almost desperately. What was she hiding?

"And you cared more about Marvin's career in politics than you did your own husband's murder?" Esposito asked accusatorily.

"Just because it wasn't made public doesn't mean that we didn't try to find the person who did it," she snapped.

"Did you find him?" I asked her.

"No. Se never did."

"We need to know who the cop was on your husband's case," my partner urged.

"Sure. Harvey. Detective Lewis Harvey."

* * *

><p><span>Alexis:<span>

"I'm home Grams," I called out entering the loft after getting home from Paige's.

"Alexis! Good you're home," Gram said entering the room with her usual dramatic flair. She looked troubled, like something was going on.

"What's going on Gram?"

"Well…" she started.

I was about to press her for more information when I saw the reason for her silence walk into the room. "Dad!" I half screamed, running towards him. He opened his arms and I ran straight into them. I held him for a moment before breaking away and putting my hands on my hips. "Where were you Dad?"

"Philadelphia, looking for leads on Johanna Beckett's case."

"Well since I know I'll never get you to stop looking into Detective Beckett's mom's case, did you at least find anything out?"

"Just that someone else who was involved with the case was murdered six years ago."

I was even more worried now. So many people who were involved with this were dead; Detective Beckett's mom and her associates, the ex detectives Raglan and McCallister, the hit men Coonan and Lockwood, and Captain Montgomery. Detective Beckett was almost killed; was my dad next? "Be careful Dad," I pleaded.

"I will Sweetie. So how's Ashley?"

I knew this moment would come but I still wasn't ready for it. "Um… I don't really know. He sort of left here angry the other day and I gat the impression that we were over."

"I'm sorry pumpkin," he said pulling me in for another hug.

"Hey Dad?" I asked changing the subject.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to go back to shadowing Detective Beckett?"

"I don't know," he said shrugging, "I just don't know."

Suddenly I knew exactly what I had to do.

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

"Lewis Harvey, it says here that you retired from the NYPD almost six years ago. That was right after the Barker murder wasn't it?" I asked the retired detective, already knowing the answer.

"Yes," Harvey admitted, "That was my last case before I retired."

"Why would that be?" Ryan asked, "Were you really unable to solve his murder or do you know exactly who did it and you buried it?"

"Calm down Ryan," I whispered to my partner. We couldn't afford to get emotional and screw this up. Not when so much was on the line.

"You have no proof," Harvey spat back. Chances are he was guilty of what Ryan just accused him of, but he was going to make it difficult for us to prove that.

"You can see how we might find it coincidental that you retired right after a case that was not only un-solved but also one that you covered up by saying it was a heart attack. We need to know everything possible about this case," I told him. I pulled out some pictures and showed him one of Johanna Beckett. "You ever see her before?"

He studied the picture for a moment before answering, "Only on the news. Wasn't her murder linked to the murder of those two cops a couple of months ago and the one from January?" Ryan nodded and Harvey continued, "What does this have to do with Sam Barker?"

"He was the ME on her case," I told him," there was four murders, including hers, that happened around that time, all in the same way. Barker was the ME on all four cases, yet they were never connected."

"And what would I know about that?" he asked smugly.

Ryan and I shared a look; this asshole was really starting to piss us both off. "Did you know a Detective Raglan or McCallister?" I asked deciding to keep Montgomery out of it.

"No."

"You're telling me that you were all detectives at the same time in the same precinct yet you didn't know them?" Ryan inquired.

"There were a lot of detectives at the time; you can't expect me to know every one."

"Oh please. You worked with them. I can say that I know all the detectives in this precinct," I said, giving him just as much attitude as he was giving me.

"So? Even if I did know them it doesn't have anything to do with anything."

If I could I would punch this guy in the face right now. "Who hired you to bury that case?"

"I couldn't find the killer. No one hired me to do anything. I'm sure you two have had unsolved cases before. Now if you excuse me, I was a cop—I know my rights. Unless you have any evidence that allows you to hold me, I'll be on my way."

We knew that asshole was guilty of something but he was right. We didn't have enough evidence to hold him for anything so we did the only thing we could: watch him walk free.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

Between being blindsided by two detectives I looked on as brothers, Castle coming back, and the fight with my dad, the past couple days had exhausted me. I knew Ryan and Esposito were probably looking into my mom's case because of Castle and that I should give them a break; but I still felt as though they betrayed my trust. My father had stepped out of line saying that I needed to be fixed but deep down I knew he was right; I had issues I would have to deal with eventually so I could move on with my life. When my mom died my whole life had shattered. I pretended to be stoic in front of people, but when I was on my own I was a mess. I spent night after night reading Castle's books. I would absorb myself in the murders; trying to figure out how someone could murder somebody. I knew I would never be able to let her murder go; I would do anything to figure out what happened. It wasn't long after that, that I switched from majoring in English Lit to entering the police academy. I became the best cop I could be, while investigating my mother's murder on the side. Then I became a homicide officer, and eventually a homicide detective, and I had to face murders every day. I put killer after killer behind bars, but it was never enough; I needed to put my mom's killer away for life. I was obsessed.

I needed to relax. I would pick my usual way of relaxation—a hot bath, a glass of wine, and a Richard Castle novel—but that would remind me far too much of Castle. Instead I decided to watch a movie both my mom and I had loved: _Sleepless in Seattle_. I remember when I was thirteen years and _Sleepless in Seattle_ first came out in theatres. I begged my mom to take me and she did. We both loved the movie and talked about it for weeks. As silly as it was, I had this fantasy of going to the Empire State building and waiting for my Tom Hanks to come. I remembered during the case of a woman who had been killed by her husband and then put in a freezer, that Castle and I had a conversation about walking in the killer's shoes. He had told me that he had researched throwing a victim off the Empire State building by being up there. He told me many women had come up to him thinking he was their Tom Hanks. The thought made me secretly smile because I had done the exact opposite thing. I finally convinced my mom to drive me to the Empire State building. We stood up there for hours. Men kept winking at my mom which made me a little mad because I was the one who was there for attention. It was a silly memory of my mom, but those were the ones I held closest to my heart.

I put on the DVD and settled in for a movies worth of memories.

* * *

><p><span>Lanie:<span>

"You called Lanie?" Ryan said entering the morgue with Javier.

"Yeah. I exhumed the body like you guys asked," I began, "there was a print on your body."

"Did you get an ID?" Javier asked.

"Yes but you're not going to like it."

"Who is it?"

"Do you remember that hit man, Jason Melling, you guys busted last year but he died?"

"Yeah. What about him?" Ryan asked.

"Turns out he isn't dead. I exhumed his body too and it turns out it was his twin brother Kyle. Not only is Jason Melling still alive, but his print is on your ME."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

**A/N: Sorry for the angst in this chapter. I promise you it's necessary. I know we all would love to see Castle and Beckett jump into bed together but that's not realistic at this point. I love Caskett as much as the next person but for now we'll stick with angst.**

**I own Castle. Ha Ha Ha! I wish!**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"When you're too in love to let it go"<p>

Beckett:

I didn't know why I let myself get so behind on my paperwork. I looked at the pile of it in front of me and sighed. My phone rang and I saw Castle's name on the call display. I hit ignore like I had the last twenty times he had called, and turned back to my paperwork. I had been back at the precinct—again—for a couple days. Grayson had given me another lecture, and told me if I stepped out of line again she would fire me. She had to be bluffing; if she fired me Ryan and Esposito would walk right out after me. She may be okay with losing one detective, but three? Speaking of the wicked witch of New York she was headed my way with a scowl on her face. Behind her was a red headed teenager I instantly recognized. Alexis?

"Can we talk Beckett?" Grayson snapped.

"Sure." We stepped into the observation room and Grayson slammed the door.

"It's bad enough that mister-hot-shot writer has to come and disturb my precinct but now you have his daughter coming in too?"

I ignored her comment about Castle and steered her to the topic of Alexis. "Why is she here?"

"She says she needs to talk to you about her dad."

"If she's here then it must be important. Alexis is not one to disturb the peace."

"Hmm, she must be like her mother then."

I didn't comment on that. If Grayson thought Castle was bad she would have a field day with miss deep fried twinkie. "I'm going to go talk to Alexis now. I promise it won't take long and then I'll get back to my paperwork."

"You have five minutes Beckett."

I walked away from Captain McBitchy and towards Alexis.

"Hi Detective Beckett," Alexis said sweetly.

"It's been over three years; I think you can call me Kate."

"Okay Det—Kate. You're probably wondering why I'm here."

"A little," I admitted. At first I was afraid that something might have happened to Castle but Alexis looked far too calm for that to be the case.

"Well it's just." Alexis stopped and looked up at me, her blue eyes that reminded me so much of Castle's swimming with emotion. "It's not that I don't care about the case—because I do—it's just, working on your mom's case has made my dad reckless. He cares too much about you too ever let it go. Too many people have died already; I don't want my dad to be next."

I understood her pain. I knew what it was like to lose a parent and Alexis's mother already wasn't there for her like she should be; she didn't need to lose her dad too. "I've told him to stay away from it. He won't listen to me."

"Please try again," she begged, "You are the only one he will listen too."

I kind of wanted to laugh; Castle had never listened to me. "I'll try Alexis," I told the girl, attempting to comfort her.

"Thank you Kate. Is he going to come back and shadow you again?"

"I don't know," I told the girl honestly.

"That's what he said too."

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

I angrily slammed my phone down on the table. I had tried to call Kate twenty-one times. She never picked up. I also had sent her ten texts and four emails. Our relationship had always been "one step forward two steps back" but since I came back from Philadelphia it had been "ten giant steps back". I missed her.

The door slammed and Alexis entered. "Hey pumpkin where were you?'

"Out with friends."

Her nose had crinkled slightly which meant that she was lying. "Which friends?" I asked casually.

"Paige, Kelsey, and Taylor," she said quickly.

"Mhmm," I muttered. My daughter was definitely keeping something from me.

Alexis's cell phone rang and she answered it, Paige on the other end. She got up and left the room, and I let her go. This conversation was far from over but for now she had won. I picked up my own phone and dialed Beckett's number again. I wasn't surprised when they was no answer. Maybe it was time to head down to the precinct.

"We need to talk Kate," I said walking up behind Beckett.

"Castle?" She looked surprised to see me.

"Yeah, remember me? I'm the guy you've been ignoring."

"You're right Castle; we need to talk."

That was the last thing I was expecting her to say. "Okay?"

"You need to stop messing with my mom's case Castle."

"Messing with? Messing with! You didn't think I was messing with it when I beat the crap out of Lockwood, or when you were dying in my arms."

"Leave. My. Mother's. Case. Alone."

"You should listen to your own advice," I told her.

"Get out."

"That is so like you! Every time I hit a nerve you kick me out. I'm sick of it Kate."

"I'm sick of you thinking this is all a game."

Does she think I'm following her around for fun? It started off as a kind of challenge. I followed her around because I thought she was hot and she was my new conquest. Then I got to know her and how phenomenal she truly is. It didn't take long for me to start to fall for her. It could have happened at any time, but I was in denial. It wasn't until I was being held captive by the 3XK that I realized I didn't really care if I got out of there alive as long as Kate was okay. I was closer to death then I ever had been before. In that moment I knew that I loved her and always would. I had never really loved my ex wives; not like Kate Beckett. I married Meredith because she was pregnant with Alexis and it was the right thing to do, and I married Gina as sort of a rebound. Both of those women were so superficial. Kate wasn't; Kate was real.

I looked at the woman standing in front of me. She wanted me to give it all up. I couldn't do that. I loved her too much to let her mother's murder go unsolved, I loved her too much to stop shadowing her, I loved her too much to let it go.

"I'll just leave you alone then," I fumed. I was frustrated with all our arguments. Would things ever change?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

**A/N: Hey, sorry for the wait; I had family down. Well this is a fun chapter because I get to go into the heads of two characters I created; Grayson (affectionately known as Captain McBitchy) and Melling. I'm also in both of the boy's heads which is always fun. **

**I own nothing but Grayson, Melling, and Harvey.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"But if you never try you'll never know"<p>

Esposito:

We had a strong lead now; we just had to find Jason Melling. Ryan had suggested that we talked to Harvey again, and he was now sitting in interrogation. Ryan was already in there with our retired detective but it didn't look like he was getting anywhere.

"I have no clue what you are talking about!" Harvey insisted as I walked into the interrogation room.

"I have a hard time believing that," I told him.

"It's the truth. I don't even know who Jason Melling is."

"I find that especially hard to believe," Ryan said, "We have records saying that you arrested him a couple of months before you retired."

"I repeat. I. Know. Nothing." He gave us a smirk that showed he knew a lot more than he was saying. I would bet a years salary that he knew everything.

"If you don't talk now I'll give you a reason to!" I threatened losing my cool.

"Are you threatening me Detective?" Harvey asked, smirking even more now, "I'm not saying anything."

For the second time Ryan and I couldn't do anything but watch the jackhole walk away.

* * *

><p><span>Grayson:<span>

I was in my office filling out paperwork for the DA on a case that was just closed when Richard Castle knocked on my door. He was far from one of my favorite people, and I was far too tired to deal with him today. Since Beckett told him that he wasn't allowed to shadow her anymore, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with him again. I knew I could always kick him out of the precinct but it seemed like the only person the arrogant writer listened to was Kate Beckett. From what I had heard the writer was more than just a little interested in Detective Beckett, and that was the reason he followed her around like a puppy. Detectives Ryan and Esposito said he was useful on cases, but I didn't care; I didn't need some playboy writer hanging around.

"Captain Grayson?" the writer started slowly.

"Yes Mr. Castle?" I replied sharply.

"Do you think it would be okay if—well I just wondered if I could shadow Detective Beckett again?"

Follow Detective Beckett again? That was almost laughable. Right Castle was not going to worm his way back into my precinct. "No Mr. Castle. You may not shadow Kate Beckett anymore."

He looked upset but didn't say anything. Beckett had been determined when she came to me telling me under no circumstance was I allowed to let Richard Castle back in the precinct—not that I would anyways. _"I've had it with him!" she told me._

_"And what do you expect me to do about that?" I asked her._

_"I don't want him shadowing me anymore. I will tell him that, but I know him and he won't listen. If you tell him to get out he may do just that—if only temporarily."_

_I thought she was crazy. From what I had heard and seen of the writer there was no way he would stop following Beckett unless she made him. _

_"He comes anywhere near here and I'll kick him out on his ass so fast he won't even know what happened."_

_"Thank you captain."_

_I usually tried to keep personal matters out of the workplace but I knew this one needed to be addressed before it interfered with any work habits. "Detective. Would you just hop into bed with him already so you can both move on and we can get back to work here?"_

_She looked outraged but didn't comment as she walked away._

I looked at the writer and snapped "Don't you have a book to work on or something?"

Mustering as much venomhis voice as I had he snapped back, "I haven't written a damn word since Kate was shot."

He walked out and I wondered if maybe I was wrong about the writer's intentions.

* * *

><p><span>Melling:<span>

The bitch was still alive. I saw her get out of her car and walk into the apartment building where she lived. I was told that this one was a fighter but I didn't expect her to live through a gunshot to the chest. If only that damn writer hadn't pushed her over it would have hit her directly in the heart, killing her almost instantly. I could not make another mistake. My boss was pissed at me for not killing her the first time around; I could not fail a second time. This time I would not only kill her I would kill that damn writer that was always complicating things. I had a plan, now I just had to wait for the perfect timing.

* * *

><p><span>Ryan:<span>

I looked over from my desk and saw Beckett angrily flipping through paperwork at hers. She had been in a permanent bad mood since Castle came to see her the other day. Both Esposito and I knew we had to do something about that; seeing Beckett upset sucked. I had a plan. Walking past Beckett's desk I asked her if she wanted a coffee too so that my "I'm going to the break room to grab a coffee" excuse didn't seem like a total fake. She declined as politely as she could these days and I kept going.

Pulling out my phone I dialed Castle's number once I was out of Beckett's earshot.

"What do you have for me Ryan?" Castle asked answering the phone.

I told him all about Harvey and Melling and he swore under his breath. "You better catch that son of a bitch."

"We will Castle. I also called you for another reason."

"What?"

"Beckett."

"Is she okay?" he asked panicked.

"Yeah. She's fine," I stopped to think about it, "Well maybe not fine. She has been in a really bad mood since she kicked you out of the precinct and told Captain McBitchy you can't shadow her anymore."

Castle sighed into the phone. "I wish she would just listen to me."

"I know," I told the heartbroken man, "I have a plan."

I told Castle my plan and he listened patiently. "It's never going to work Ryan," Castle said with another sigh when I was finished.

"You're right; it might not work but you'll never know unless you try."

"I'll be there in ten."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I love plotting things :D**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

**A/N: This chapter is for I'm Widget, to whom I promised fluffy bunnies and happiness. **

**Finally we get a little bit of fluff (don't get used to it). We also get back to Esposito's secret plan :)**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Just what you're worth"<p>

Ryan:

I nervously tapped on my desk. Castle should be here any minute. Beckett's reaction was not going to be pretty. I was more than expecting a screaming match—good thing McBitchy was out talking to the DA about a case we were working on. "Yo Beckett? You done the paperwork on the Fuller case yet?" I asked her.

"Almost Ryan."

I saw Castle coming around the corner with a tray of four coffees. "Hey boys, Beckett," he said as cheerfully and casually as he could.

"Hey bro," Esposito said as Castle handed us our coffees.

"Castle! What the hell are you doing here? I clearly remember sending you a message saying that you are to never come to this precinct again!" Beckett snarled. _And let the games begin._

Castle froze for a second; I didn't know if he was about to go through with our plan or not. For both Castle and Beckett's sakes we couldn't afford for this plan not to work. I jumped in with my line before Beckett could have a chance to kick Castle out. "He's stuck on a part in his book and needs a cop's opinion. Since you won't let him shadow you anymore he is going to follow Esposito and me around for a little while."

"You have got to be kidding me! Castle, are you trying to piss me off now?"

"I… Um…"Castle started.

"It was my idea Beckett," I told her.

"You two are another matter," she said glaring at Esposito and I.

This was going just as planned. Castle had predicted that Beckett would get this pissed off. Now all he had to do was pull off the next part.

"I'm getting the feeling you don't want me here Detective," Castle half flirted. That was so classic Castle.

"You've got that right Castle," she said harshly.

It was time for the part that would make or break the entire plan. "I'll make you a deal detective," he said smoothly.

"What Castle?"

"I will forget about shadowing Ryan and Esposito if you agree that we can sit down and talk. Really talk. Just once."

Her face gave away that she was thinking about agreeing. Castle gave her a small pleading smile and she socked us all by saying, "Fine."

"Come to my house at six thirty tonight. I'll make us dinner and we can talk."

"Fine Castle but then you have to leave me alone."

"Okay." Castle gave me a hopeful smile. If all went well he would have her mind changed before the night was over. My part of the plan was over; it was all up to Castle now.

"Fine, I'll see you then."

Beckett walked away to grab another coffee—apparently the one Castle brought her wasn't good enough. I turned to Castle and sighed in relief. "It's a good thing Grayson wasn't here."

"Yeah McBitchy would have kicked him out," Esposito added.

"McBitchy?" Castle asked.

"Beckett came up with it. I'm surprised that Beckett didn't pick up on the fact that we were bluffing," I said.

"Yeah. She should have known that McBitchy would never allow you to shadow us," Esposito commented.

"Well somehow she believed us, and now I have to go make everything right," Castle said.

"You will bro," Esposito told him.

"I love her."

Hearing Castle say those words about the woman who was like a sister to us made me smile. I hope they worked it out.

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

After Castle left I ducked out to make a phone call. "Hello this is Javier Esposito . Yes I called the other day. Can you make sure it's all ready for this Sunday?"

The woman on the other end of the line agreed and I said, "Good. Now remember not a word to anyone."

The woman said she knew. "Thanks. I'm taking out a bank loan; I'll get you your money soon."

We both hung up and I walked back over to Ryan who smiled at me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Any guesses what he's doing yet?**

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

I was actually nervous. What if she wouldn't actually listen to what I had to say? I couldn't lose her. Secretly I knew she was lost to me as soon as I told her to step down from her mother's case before Montgomery was killed. She had temporarily forgiven me before the funeral but that had all gone downhill again after our fight when she was in the hospital. I never realized how much I needed her until she was gone. I had to get her back.

"Richard dear, Alexis and I are heading out now. I hope everything works out between you and Kate," Mother said gliding into the room.

"I hope so too Mother."

"Just tell the girl how you feel."

"I did," I said sadly.

"When?"

"After she was shot. When she was below me I couldn't handle it. I thought she was going to die and I had to let her know how I felt."

"Oh Richard," Mother said with tears in her eyes, "You have the worst timing."

"I couldn't let her die without her knowing how I felt."

She took my hands in hers and looked into my eyes. "You have to tell her again Richard."

"I will when she is ready."

"Don't take too long."

"I won't."

I kissed my mother on the cheek and put the lasagna I was making in the oven. "Goodbye Mother," I told her, only slightly impatient for her to get out of the house.

"Goodbye dear," she replied walking towards the door.

Alexis burst into the room and gave me a huge hug. "Good luck Dad."

"Thanks pumpkin," I said squeezing her back.

We said goodbye and she headed out the door where Mother was waiting. Once I was alone again I let out a huge sigh of impatience. There was still an hour until Kate was supposed to be here and I had no clue how I was going to occupy myself until then.

I poured myself a glass of red wine but the color reminded me too much of that day. The red of the wine looked too much like blood—too much like her blood. I dumped the wine down the sink and slumped into a chair. Only forty-five minutes to go.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

It was almost six-thirty; I couldn't put it off any longer. I had been sitting in my car outside Castle's building for half an hour. I knew I shouldn't want to talk to him but I did. I was still pissed but I couldn't avoid talking to him forever. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

"Hello Detective. It's been a long time since I've seen you here," the doorman said to me as I passed.

"I've been pretty busy," I lied.

"Well have a good evening."

"You too."

I got in the elevator and made my way up to the top floor. Knocking on his door I almost turned around and ran in the direction I just came.

"Beckett," Castle said smiling as he opened the door. God that smile. "Come in."

We sat down on his couch a wide space between us. "So how do you like the new captain?" he asked.

"She is definitely not Montgomery," I admitted, "I'm sure she's not actually as bad as she seems but the boys and I still miss Montgomery too much to give her a chance."

"I'm sure she'll eventually charm you with her bitchiness. What is it you call her? Captain McBitchy?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "The boys told you?"

"Yeah."

I didn't know what Castle invited me over to talk about but I have a feeling it wasn't the new captain. I was about to ask when Castle opened his mouth to speak at the same time. "How is Josh?" he asked me.

"Josh?" I was confused, and then I remembered that Castle had left before I got a chance to tell him that Josh and I broke up.

"Um he's good," I lied.

"That's good. I'm surprised you too didn't have plans tonight; it is a Friday night after all."

"Actually Castle, we broke up."

"Oh," he said softly, "I'm sorry. When?"

I debated lying to him but he would probably end up finding out the truth anyways. "When I was in the hospital."

"Oh," he said again.

We had a few minutes of silence. Why had Castle really asked me to come over? It certainly wasn't to talk about the captain or Josh. "Okay Castle why am I really here?"

"I just wanted to talk."

"Castle." I gave him a look.

"Kate," he started. It was never good when he started with my first name. "Do you remember when I came to your house and told you to step off your mother's case?"

"Of course." Where was he going with this?

"Before that your father came to see me." _My father?_ "He told me he couldn't lose you. You would get yourself killed working on that case. He asked me to stop you."

Now I was the one who could only say "oh". I was still angry that he had tried to get me to stop working on the case but now that he had explained why it was actually kind of sweet. "Castle I'm sorry for what I said to you that night."

"I know. Kate, I shouldn't have asked you to step down but your father told me to, than Montgomery told me to, and I just couldn't lose you."

"Wait Montgomery told you to stop me too?"

"I'm sorry Kate." His eyes were so expressive. I wanted to wrap my arms around him.

"Kate," he said softly, "you don't get it."

"Don't get what?" I asked afraid of where this conversation was going.

"You are worth so much more than you realize Kate. I wish that you could see that. You have so many people who love you; your dad, Lanie, the boys, m—" The last word died on his lips.

I held my breath when he almost admitted he loved me again. I was stunned by his words. "Castle," I started saying.

"No Kate. Listen to me," he replied holding his hand up to silence me. "You mean so much to so many people." He started listing them again, "Lanie, your dad, Ryan, Esposito, my mother and daughter." He didn't list his own name.

"Is that all Rick?"

"No," he said leaning forward, " Me. You mean so much to me. You need to know that."

"I do," I whispered. He was so close to me now; it made me dizzy. I could just lean over and kiss him. I wanted to but I was holding myself back. Instead I reached over and lightly stroked his hair. A smile broke out across his face. He was probably expecting me to say how much he meant to me but I wasn't ready to do that yet; he didn't push it. "Thank you Castle."

"For what?"

"For just being you."

"Always."

I smiled when he said that. "Always"; it was our way of saying "I love you" without saying those three words. He leaned over to kiss me on the cheek at the same time I went to say something. The movement of my head caused him to miss my cheek and hit the corner of my mouth. His lips were so gentle and soft. This wasn't like the last time when it had been frenzied and passionate. This was soft, sweet. It took all my self control to not grab him and kiss him until both our lips were chapped. I couldn't do this right now.

Castle suddenly sat up straighter. "Do you smell something burning?" he asked.

I lifted my head and indeed I did smell something burning. "Um Castle, did you have something in the oven."

"The lasagna!" he exclaimed, jumping up and running into the kitchen.

He cursed lightly under his breath as he took the ruined dish of pasta from the oven. He looked like a sad lost puppy. "Don't worry Castle," I said playfully, "I wasn't hungry anyways."

"Neither was I," he said, smiling now.

"Now what?" I asked, not ready to leave yet.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," I replied, smiling, "I could run to my apartment and grab _Forbidden Planet_."

"That's okay; we have it."

"Really?" I asked smirking.

"Yeah Alexis and I have watched it together at least once a month since she was little."

"Really," I said again, drawing out the "e" sound. "I, um, thought you had never seen it before I took you."

I laughed at his guilty look. "Um, about that…"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

**A/N: You guys are awesome! Seriously. Thanks to LoTS-Fanatic and Jotchprossi18 for your reviews and comments that made me decide to give you guys another chapter today. **

**Well I actually have quite a bit to say about this one. It didn't really go in the direction I was intending it to. Wait, I don't want to revel anything so I'll post this at the end.**

**I don't own anything, sadly.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Lights will guide you home"<p>

Beckett:

"Thanks for having lunch with me Jenny," I told Ryan's fiancé, who sat across from me at Remys.

"No problem," she said sweetly, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

It was a Saturday afternoon, and I had gotten the day off. I needed to talk to someone about last night. I wanted to be with Castle but I was afraid. Every time I got close to telling him what I felt for him, he would leave. My dad was never good with boy advice—is that what I was really after? (Boy advice? It sounds so high school.) Lanie and the boys were too close to it and would just tell me to hop into bed with him. Martha and Alexis would be more objective but they were Castle's family so naturally they would tell me to give Castle a shot. I knew I needed someone who was more on the outside but who still knew what was going on. I remembered Jenny and thought she was the perfect candidate. "Well, it's just well um, I don't um, I suck at this 'sharing feelings thing'," I finally admitted.

"That's okay. It can be hard sometimes."

"Yeah," I muttered under my breath. How many times have I tried to say what I am feeling but I just can't? "I went over to Castle's house last night for supper because he wanted to talk to me. We didn't end up eating but we talked for hours and watched old sci-fi movies. It was just like old times before I was shot. I missed him before but that just made me miss him even more. I want to be with him, I do. I've almost told him that many times. We have those little moments once in a while where we stare at each other and then dismiss it as nothing and turn away. In those moments of silence I almost tell him but then I get scared and back down. Then I was trying to tell him I thought we should give 'us' a shot when his ex wife walked in."

Jenny had been listening quietly until I said that. "Deep fried Twinkie?" she asked.

I laughed a little. "I see Kevin told you about her. No, it was the other one; Gina the publisher. So he walked out with her leaving me behind. I tried to deny all feelings for him after that but when he kissed me—"

"—He kissed you?" she almost squealed.

"We were undercover and trying to distract the guard. It was when Lockwood had Kevin and Javier," I explained, "Don't tell the boys; they would have a field day."

"Okay," she said smiling.

"But anyways after that I knew I would have trouble denying my feelings to myself anymore. Then Castle and I were locked in that freezer and I tried to tell him I love him but I lost consciousness before I finished saying it. I put it behind me after we got out of the freezer and tried to forget it."

"And how did that work?" she asked me.

"Not too badly until he tried to get me off my mother's case. He accused me of hiding behind relationships with men I don't love, and he's right. I got scared at how right he was and kicked him out of my apartment. Then he dragged me out of the hangar where Montgomery died so I wouldn't get killed too. The emotion in his eyes as he held me to that car showed me he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. I was going to let him back in as a friend as see where it went from there but I was shot. He tried to push me out of the way. He would have taken a bullet for me. I feel sick knowing he could have died if he had been a few seconds quicker. The life was draining out of me as he held me. He told me he loved me. We fought about my mother's case again when I was in the hospital, but I knew he was right. I was going to tell him I was done pretending; I was going to tell him I loved him."

"But then he left," Jenny added softly.

"But then he left," I agreed. I couldn't believe I had just told my history with Castle to someone I barely knew. Maybe not knowing her was why I was able to say it. "What should I do Jenny?"

"Go home."

"How will going home help me?" I asked confused.

"Not your home. Go home to him."

I looked up at her and saw kindness and sincerity in her expression. "Thanks Jenny."

"Anytime," she told me, "Go get him."

I gave her a quick hug before I ran towards my car.

* * *

><p><span>Melling:<span>

I was in her apartment. It wasn't hard to get into; the building didn't even have a doorman. She wasn't here but I knew she couldn't be too long. Now I just had to get the writer here.

Sitting on the table was what appeared to be her phone. I didn't know if she was with the writer or not but I decided to take the risk and say she wasn't. I grabbed her phone and scrolled through the contacts until I found his number. Sending a text to him, I smiled to myself.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

I was in my office trying to write when I got a text. "Castle can you come over right away?" It was from Beckett. I closed my laptop, told Mother and Alexis where I was going, and left for Beckett's.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well I never intended for Beckett to spill her heart out to Jenny but it just kind of happened. I have more than one Beckett heart to heart with Lanie so I decided to switch this one up and have it with Jenny. Kate Beckett has finally seen the light folks. He he he.**

**~Rose**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. I was going to make it longer but I decided I really wanted to end it with this so... I really like my hit man. **

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And ignite your bones"<p>

Melling:

He knocked on the door when he got there. He knocked a couple more times when no one answered before barging in the door. "Beckett?" the writer called out, "Kate?"

I moved out of the shadows and moved towards him slowly. "Hello Mr. Castle," I said smiling widely, "So happy you could come."

"Who the hell are you?" he snapped back.

"Oh sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I'm the guy who is going to be your worst nightmare if you don't cooperate."

"Where is Kate?"

"If you want your little cop friend you're going to have to do some talking first."

"What the hell did you do to Kate?" he half screamed. The detective obviously meant a lot to him which could work in my advantage. All I had to do was keep up the bluff that I had her and Mr. Writer here would probably tell me anything I wanted. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. For now. If you don't cooperate I will be forced to kill her."

He slumped his shoulders forward and hung his head down holding it in his hands. "I'll do whatever you want."

"Stop investigating Johanna Beckett's murder."

He looked like he really wanted to say no but I smiled slightly to remind him of his detective.

"Fine," he agreed. This was going to be easy; he would give me whatever I wanted as long as I promised I would keep his detective alive, and then I would just kill them both.

"Are you Jason Melling?" he asked me. What the hell had they found out?

"What does she know?" I demanded.

"She doesn't know anything," he insisted.

"Tell me what she knows!"

"I promise she doesn't know anything about you. I am the one who was investigating it."

I grabbed him and yanked his arms, pulling them behind his back, and slammed him against the wall. "What do you know?"

"Enough."

"You have two options here writer. I can either kill you or your precious cop girlfriend."

"Do not hurt Kate!"

"Guess that means you're the one who is going to die." I smiled as I pulled duct tape, and a lighter out of a drawer. I pulled one of the kitchen chairs towards me with my foot. Slamming the writer into the chair, I started duct taping him to it. I reached into a bag and pulled out thousands of pages I ripped out of books—his books. I scattered them around him as he gave me disgusted looks. "How does it feel to know that you are going to die with your books burning around you?" I asked smugly.

"Go to hell!"

I smirked. Grabbing the lighter I flicked it on and off. "Oh and before you die Rick," I started, "I was the one that shot Kate Beckett. I didn't succeed in killing her then but I certainly will now."

"You son of a b—" he started but I put duct tape over his mouth before he could finish. I lit one of the papers on fire, threw it on the ground with the others, and got the hell out of there, leaving the writer to burn.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

**A/N: Sorry for another short chapter. I promise the next one will be longer. **

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And I will try to fix you"<p>

Beckett:

It seemed like I was knocking on Castle's door for five minutes before someone finally answered. "Kate?" Martha said sounding surprised to see me.

"Hello Martha," I said politely, "is Castle here?"

"No. Actually he went to your place," the red head said looking confused.

"My place?"

"He said you sent him a text telling him to come over right away."

What was she talking about? "I never sent him a text." I reached into my pocket to grab my phone but it wasn't there. _Shit!_ "Martha," I said seriously, "Lock your door. Do not let anyone in."

"What's going on Kate? What happened to Richard?"

"I don't know, but I have to get to my place." Martha looked as panicked as I felt. "He's probably fine," I told her comfortingly, "Go be with your grand daughter, I'll send you updates."

The worried woman wished me luck before locking the door behind me. "What the Hell did you get yourself into Rick?" I muttered to myself as I headed back to my place.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

The heat from the flames was unbearable. All my book pages were on fire now; I was surrounded. The flames were spreading all along the floor. How long would it be until Beckett's apartment completely went up in flames and I with it?

That bastard had given me this death sentence in exchange for Kate's life, but he was going to kill her anyways. I hung my head, knowing the woman I love was going to die because of me. I try to live with no regrets but there are times I have to wonder 'what if?' What if I hadn't looked into Kate's mother's case three years ago? She had been shot by Melling and now who knows what he was going to do to her.

The flames were crawling up the side of the chair. The smoke started filling my lungs and I coughed. I was slipping in and out of consciousness. _Goodbye Kate, _I thought to myself. I closed my eyes and the smoke pulled me in.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

"Come on Esposito!" I yelled at his voice mail, "Answer your flipping phone!" I was almost to my apartment and I wanted to let the boys know my suspicions. Castle must have gotten himself involved in something that was far over his head. That meant one thing: my mother's case. This _had_ to be about my mother's case. I got him into this; it was all my fault. _What if it's too late to fix this? What have I done? I couldn't lose him; he tried to save me when I was shot and now I had to try to save him._

It was worse than I thought it would be when I got to my apartment. Oh shit; this cannot be happening. I tried calling Ryan's number and he finally answered, "Ryan."

"Ryan, it's Beckett. Get to my apartment now. I don't know what the hell you guys found out about my mother's murder but you are in too deep. Castle is in trouble," I was close to a panic attack by now.

"We'll be there asap," he replied.

"Oh and call the fire department," I added. I couldn't belivr this was happening to me. First my apartment was blown up my Dunn and now this. "I can see goddamn flames through my window."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

**A/N: Don't hate me.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Tears stream down your face"<p>

Castle:

Where was I? The image of Kate's face swam in my memories.

"_Mr. Castle?"_

_"Where would you like it?"_

_"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."_

_"You think this is your fault? Yeah, you pushed for it; not because it's your job, but because you care. Most people come up against a wall, they give up; not you. You don't let go. You don't back down; that's what makes you extraordinary."_

_"Look I signed up for this when I put that badge on. You didn't. It's not your fight."_

_"The hell it isn't. I don't hang around you just to annoy you. I don't ride out to murder scenes in the middle of the night to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that's all this was about I would have quit a long time ago."_

_"Then why do you keep coming back Rick?"_

_"You know what I thought when I first met you? That you were a mystery I was never going to solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed at the depths of your strength, your heart, and your hotness."_

_"You're not so bad yourself Castle."_

_"Thank you, for having my back in there."_

_"Always."_

_"Castle. Thank you, for being there."_

_"Always."_

_"I just want you to know how much I—"_

_"I'm jealous. There, I said it. I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer, that upsets me. If that makes me petty so be it, guilty as charged."_

_"Actually I kinda think it's sweet."_

_"You do?"_

_"I do. Ands that's why you don't have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on I'm a one writer girl."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Always."_

Her face was so clear in my mind. Kate. Where was she? Suddenly I remembered being in her apartment with Melling. His words haunted me. _"__I was the one that shot Kate Beckett. I didn't succeed in killing her then but I certainly will now." _Was she still alive? Was I still alive? There had been fire and smoke. So much smoke.

I tried to pull myself out of the darkness. I could hear a voice. "Rick wake up. Come on Rick. Rick I l—"

I needed to open my eyes but the darkness pulled me back under.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

The fire department was able to put out the fire and my apartment was too badly damaged. My living room and kitchen were pretty scorched, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the time my last apartment was blown up. The EMTs got Castle out in time. He had inhaled a lot of smoke but they said he would be fine.

I was sitting next to his bed in the hospital now. He had an oxygen mask on and was still unconscious. "Rick," I said lightly, "wake up." I felt his hand twitch slightly and I squeezed it. "Come on Rick." The doctors had said he would be fine but I needed him so open his eyes so I could see that for myself. "Rick I l—" I stopped myself from finishing those words. We couldn't keep up this game of denying our feelings for each other until one of us almost died. This is the third time we those three little words have been present at a near death experience. I almost told him in the freezer, he said them me when I was shot, and now this. I wouldn't say them now; I would wait until after this mess was over.

* * *

><p><span>Martha:<span>

I was worried sick. I had never seen Kate so concerned for Richard's well being before. Something must be terribly wrong.

The phone rang and I grabbed it immediately, hoping it was Kate. "Hello," I said shakily.

"Hello Martha, it's Detective Ryan."

"Detective Ryan? What is going on? Are Richard and Kate okay?"

"They're both fine. Beckett's apartment was set on fire and Castle was in it at the time. He inhaled a lot of smoke but other than that he's fine. Beckett is at the hospital with him now."

I was shaken up. Who would set Kate's apartment on fire? Did this have something to do with her mother's case? "Did you catch who did it?"

"We did. My partner and I had our suspicions of who it was and when we saw him in the background outside Beckett's apartment we took him in."

At least they caught him. "This has to do with Kate's mother doesn't it?"

"Yes Mrs. Rodgers, I'm afraid to say it does."

* * *

><p><span>Alexis:<span>

It seemed like only seconds after I overheard Gram's conversation with Detective Ryan we were at the hospital. Everyone kept telling me my dad was fine but I was still worried beyond belief.

We walked into Dad's room where they were going to keep him overnight to make sure he was fine. His eyes were closed and Detective Beckett was sitting next to him, his hand in hers. It was so similar to what happened almost four months ago when Kate was in the bed and my dad was holding her hand. The sight of it made the tears that were welling up in my eyes fall down my cheeks. "Detective," I said acknowledging her when she met my eyes.

"He's just asleep," Kate said softly, "he's had a long day."

I nodded my head and looked at Gram. Gram went to sit on Dad's other side and Kate got up to leave. "I should probably leave you guys with Rick."

"No, stay Kate," Grams told her.

"I'd love to but I really should ask the boys why they have a man who is supposed to be dead in holding, and why the hell he set my apartment on fire."

The detective turned to leave the room and I followed her out. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked her.

"Sure Alexis."

I took a deep breath before I started. "My father almost died today."

"I know," she said sadly.

"This isn't the first time either. There was the freezer too. How many times has my father almost died?" I didn't wait for a response before continuing, "How many times has he almost died because of you? He tried to take a bullet for you!"

She looked up at me tears glistening in her eyes. She was about to say something but I stopped her. "How many more times is this going to happen Kate? What if he isn't fine the next time? What if he dies?"

"I am so sorry Alexis."

"Do you think he followed you around like a puppy for three years for fun?"

"No Alexis, I know that isn't why he followed me."

"I like you Kate but I don't like my father being in constant danger. If you feel the same way about him that he does about you, you should leave him alone before you get him killed!"

I could see that I had definitely hit hard. So many emotions flashed in the detective's eyes. I felt bad for what I was doing but she of all people should understand why I can't lose my father. She lost her mother when she was not much older than I am and it has clearly torn her apart; I can't let that be me.

"Goodbye Alexis. Tell your dad I will miss him," Kate said tears in her eyes. I opened my mouth to somehow apologize for having to do this, but Kate had ran away before anyone else could see her cry.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I warned you not to get used to the fluff. Only ten chapters left! **

**~Rose**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

**A/N: Fixed version of the chapter. **

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"When you lose something you can't replace"<p>

Ryan:

There he was, sitting before us; the man who shot Beckett and tried to set Castle on fire. He hadn't been hard to find. We knew what he looked like, so all we had to do was look. He was hiding in the background at the scene outside Beckett's apartment building; had missed killing Beckett so he would have wanted to make sure Castle was dead. Melling had a smug look on his face; it made me want to punch him. "So Melling, aren't you supposed to be dead?" I asked rhetorically.

"So are your buddy and his girlfriend."

"Are you confessing?" I asked not bothering to correct him and tell him that Castle and Beckett aren't dating.

"You'll never touch him you know," Melling replied. It was a statement not a question.

"Who the hell is behind all this?" I asked.

"You'll never touch him," Melling repeated.

Esposito had been sitting, silently glaring at Melling, up until this point. "Tell us what the hell you know!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because we can get you locked up for a long time," I threatened.

Melling stayed silent. "Who is the dragon?" Esposito yelled, slamming his hands down on the table.

"Ask your writer buddy. He knows more than you think."

Esposito lost his temper, whipping around the table and grabbing the smug hit man. "Tell us what you know!"

Esposito had him backed against the wall now, his hand wrapped in Melling's shirt. Melling smiled and spun around quickly, half knocking Esposito down. This unguarded Esposito enough that Melling was able to grab his arms and pull his gun out of his holster. Holding it to my partner's head he managed to get out of Esposito's grip. "Back down or your partner gets a bullet in his head," Melling threatened.

I couldn't let anyone else die; especially my partner. Pulling out my own gun, I shot Melling, who crumpled to the ground.

* * *

><p><span>Lanie:<span>

"Hola chica," Javier said entering the morgue.

I wasn't in the mood. Something was definitely going on and no one had informed me about any of it. "Care to explain why Perlmutter just told me he heard Jason Melling had you at gun point?" I asked sharply.

"It's a long story Lanie."

"Javier Esposito, you better explain or I will smack you."

"Well I don't know everything, but somehow Melling has something to do with Beckett's mother's case." I put my head in my hands knowing anything that came after that statement would be nothing good. "He had Castle," Javier continued, "I don't know what happened but somehow Castle was at Beckett's apartment and Melling was there too and he tied Castle up and lit Beckett's apartment on fire."

"He what?" I asked, not believing what I just heard.

"Lit Beckett's apartment on fire."

"Is Castle okay?" I asked concerned.

"He's fine. Inhaled a lot of smoke, but fine."

"You still have to explain being held at gun point."

"Ryan and I caught him and brought him into the precinct. We tried to figure out what he knew but he wouldn't say. He accused Castle of knowing who is behind it all and I lost my temper."

"Javier," I semi-threatened.

"He got out of the hold I had him in and pointed his gun at me. Ryan shot him; he's dead now."

I was too stunned to speak; instead I just went and wrapped my arms around Javier.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

I had to get out of there. I didn't know where to go; I couldn't go home seeing how my apartment needed major repairs now but I couldn't stay at the hospital. I decided to just go for a walk. Thoughts of the conversation Alexis and I had just had swam around my head. She was right; I couldn't keep putting her father in danger. Alexis didn't even know about all the times Castle had almost died shadowing me; the Tisdale case, the case with the passport that was in a knockoff purse, when the 3XK had him, when we were in the freezer, when the bomb almost went off, just now in my apartment… He wasn't a cop, he shouldn't have to face these dangers. If something had happened to him I would never forgive myself. Alexis was right to tell me to get out of her father's life. I had lost the best thing in my life, but it was the only way to keep him alive.

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

Disappearing out of everyone else's sight I made a phone call to the number I called the other day. "Hello," the woman on the other end said.

"Hi, things have come up. I can't do Sunday anymore. Will it be too much of an inconvenience to put it off until things calm down?" I couldn't do this now; not with Beckett potentially in danger and Castle chasing after someone who is extremely dangerous. According to Melling Castle knows who the dragon is. I don't want to believe that he would know and not tell us, but I had a feeling he did know more than he was telling us.

"Sure, that's fine," the woman replied, "I hope everything is alright."

"I do too," I muttered under my breath.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

The darkness was still enclosing me but I was starting to break through it. _Kate._ I needed to se her. _But wasn't she dead? Then again, wasn't I dead too?_ I felt someone gripping my hand. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw my daughter next to me. "Hi pumpkin," I said, my voice raspy.

"Dad!"

She looked scared. I felt bad for scaring her. "Where's Gram," I asked her, noticing she wasn't there.

"She ran down to the cafeteria," Alexis responded.

Then I noticed who else wasn't there: Kate. She was probably busy, but I had to ask anyways. "Where's Kate?"

The color suddenly drained from my daughter's face. She squeezed my hand harder. "Dad I'm sorry," she said tearfully, "She's gone Dad. She left."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

**A/N: This one is short but seeing how it's the second one I've uploaded today I think you'll live.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Tears stream down your face"<p>

Lanie:

Pulling into the hospital parking lot I saw Kate sitting on the curb, head in her hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked her getting out of my old Chevy.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she responded unconvincingly.

"Girl, you are not fine. Want to tall me the whole story?"

"Not really." I gave her a look and she sighed before continuing, "I went to Castle's to tell him I'm done with pretending we don't have feelings for each other. When I got there Martha answered the door and said Castle had gone to my apartment because I sent him a text telling him to. I didn't sent him that text Lanie. I looked for my phone but realized that I had left it at home. I raced to my apartment and it was on fire. Castle was inside."

"Why aren't you in there with writer boy?" I asked, pointing to the hospital.

"Alexis," she answered quietly.

"Alexis?"

"She's tired of me putting her father in danger. She told me to get out of Castle's life."

"Oh. Sweetie." I pulled her in for a hug. Tears were falling down her cheeks and on to my shoulder. It wasn't very often that Kate Beckett the hard-ass cop cried but this was a very different Kate. This Kate's life changed the second she was shot.

"You're going to nee somewhere to stay," I told her, "come stay with me."

"I don't want to inconvenience you," she started before I interrupted her.

"Don't even start with me Kate Beckett. You are staying with me and that's final."

"You're a good friend Lanie."

* * *

><p>ONE WEEK LATER<p>

Castle:

I stared at my computer screen but I couldn't write. I hadn't been able to since Kate had walked out of my life. I knew there was more to it then Alexis was telling me, but I didn't push it. Alexis had just said Kate had told her to say she would miss me and then she left.

There was a knock at my door and I reluctantly got up to answer it. "Ryan?" I said, surprised, when I saw who it was.

"We need to talk Castle."

I searched for a smartass remark but I couldn't think of one. "Okay?" I motioned towards the couch and we both sat down.

"What have you gotten us into Castle? Who is Melling and why does he say you know who the dragon is?"

I sighed. I knew I couldn't lie to Ryan's face right now. "Melling is the man who shot Kate. He's another hired hand like Coonan and Lockwood. Yes I know who the dragon is, but I can't tell you who it is."

"Who not?"

"Kate's safety."

"What about your safety Castle? You almost died last week. You can't keep doing this."

"Kate needs to be safe," I told him, "do you know what it would do to me if I lost her?"

"Do you know what it would do to her if she lost you?" Ryan replied, "She's already lost her mother and Montgomery over this, she can't lose you too."

"I'm sorry Ryan but I can't tell you who the dragon is yet. You'll just have to trust me."

He sighed this time and said, "Alright Castle, but don't do anything stupid."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

**A/N: I must be feeling extremely generous today, a third chapter! (You can blame LittleMissRainbow for my generousity). Sorry this chapter is short but it needed to stand on its own.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And I"<p>

Beckett:

Luckily the damage on my apartment wasn't extensive. It had been under repair for the past week, and today I was going to be able to go home.

The precinct was beginning to feel like my own personal hell. I still wasn't allowed to do anything except paperwork, so while the boys were out chasing murderers I was stuck at my desk with McBitchy breathing down my neck. I knew nothing would be the same at the precinct after Montgomery died and I got shot, but I didn't realize it would be this bad. Ryan acted like he had a huge weight on his chest, Esposito was sneaking around doing something (he thought no one noticed he was being all secretive), and McBitchy was… well McBitchy. Then there was Castle. The precinct wasn't the same without him. _Castle. _I missed him more than I thought was possible. I pretended to hate him so much in the beginning. He made me smile, which was something I didn't feel I deserved to be able to do; maybe that's why it was so easy to pretend to hate him. Richard Castle was just some immature play-boy author that got on my nerves; and then I got to know the real Rick. He was my best friend, my plucky sidekick, my partner, my one and done. That was all over now though.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

Maybe Ryan was right. I was putting myself in danger. Everyone who knows as much about this case as I do has been killed and I know who the dragon is. I couldn't even tell anyone who could possibly help me because not only would it put them in danger too, but it would also increase the chances of Kate finding out, which would put her in danger.

I remember my shock when I found out who the dragon was. He was a powerful man. He blackmailed Raglan and McCallister to kidnap those mobsters and in return they got Montgomery involved. When Johanna Beckett started to investigate the incident he knew she had to die. Then when Raglan was going to explain the whole thing to Kate, he had to die too. So many people had been killed because of this man. Not just the three cops and Johanna and her associates, but also the ME that covered up the fact that Johanna's and the other three murders were connected. He was going to come clean too before the dragon hired Melling to kill him. This had been going on far too long and I had to find a way to stop it before anyone else died.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

**A/N: This is just a short filler chapter, but it had to be written. **

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Tears stream down your face"<p>

Jenny:  
>Kevin seemed distracted. He also seemed like something was deeply bothering him. "Are you okay?" I asked him after giving him a kiss.<br>"I'm fine," he said, sounding not fine.  
>"Please talk to me Kevin." I really was worried about him. I knew the death of his captain and Kate Beckett getting shot had changed him, but lately he seemed even more distant. He didn't say anything and I grabbed his hands in mine. "Please Kevin."<br>He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. "It's nothing you need to worry about Jenny."  
>"Don't say that Kevin."<br>Kevin gave a heavy sigh. "It's just this case. It's Beckett's mother's case. Castle knows stuff about it that he won't tell us and I'm afraid it's going to get him killed."  
>"I'm sorry," I said softly.<br>"I love you Jenny," he told me while kissing me again.  
>"I love you too. Promise me you'll stay safe."<br>"I'm a cop Jenny. I can't promise that."  
>"I know," I said sadly.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Lanie:<span>  
>Javier was tense. This was all about Kate's mom's case and if they didn't step down they were all going to get killed.<br>"What's on your mind Lanie?" He asked me.  
>"The case. Castle is going to get himself killed. You know that right?"<br>"Yeah, I know."

"Has anyone tried to talk to him?" I asked.

"Sure we've tried Lanie. You know he won't listen; not when it comes to Beckett. He would die trying to protect her."

Of course he was right. I had never seen someone so willing to take a bullet as Castle was when Kate got shot. "I hope he knows what he's doing," I muttered under my breath.

"So do I baby, so do I."

* * *

><p><span>Jim:<span>

Katie needed to be stopped. I had made my peace with Johanna's death, and now it was time for Katie to. I was at her apartment now, trying to get up the courage to knock on her door. It was late at night, but I knew my Katie wouldn't be asleep. I slowly started rapping on the hard wood of the door with my knuckle.

"Dad?" Katie asked in disbelief while answering the door.

"Hi Katie," I responded, "can I come in?"

"Of course."

"Katie you have to stop what you're doing," I pleaded.

"What are you talking about Dad?"

"Johanna's case. I heard what happened with the hit man in your apartment."

"Hit man?"

"The man who shot you Katie. You have to step down from this case before you get your self killed."

"I want to be alone now Dad," she said, looking stunned.

It saddened me that she probably wasn't going to listen, but if I pushed her she would listen even less. "Bye Katie. I love you."

"Love you too Dad."

I left her apartment, hoping that she would still be alive this time next week.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

I couldn't breathe. The man who was in my apartment, this apartment, was the man who shot me. I was right; Castle had been chasing my mother's murder. Castle had come so close to being killed by the same man who almost killed me. I wanted nothing more than to catch the bastard who hired him, but maybe it was time to give up. Catching my mother's murderer meant a lot to be but so did Castle; and I couldn't lose him.

I sunk down to the floor and let the tears fall.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And shit starts going down next chapter folks. Stay tuned.**

**~Rose**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I promise you I will learn from my mistakes"

Esposito:

It was Monday evening at the precinct. Beckett was just getting ready to leave and Ryan was already gone to some cake tasting thing him and Jenny had to do. It was time. I picked up my phone and input the number I had called so many times in the past month. "Hello," the woman answered.

"It's me. Everything is calm at the moment so I think I should do it soon."

"That's probably a good idea. When for this time?"

"Saturday."

"Perfect."

She had been more help then she would ever know. I needed someone with connections and she was a perfect candidate. She was also a female so she understood. "Thanks Madison," I told her.

"No problem."

* * *

><p><span>The Dragon:<span>

Richard Castle knew who I was. That could be very dangerous. I thought the whole matter would be kept quiet for good after Lockwood killed Roy. I guess I was wrong. The nosy writer may know who I am but he doesn't know I'm not alone. I have a co-conspirator whom Castle thinks is his friend. Castle may think he has connections, but I have connections he wouldn't even dream of.

It was time to act on it. The writer and Johanna's daughter must die.

I called Richard Castle's number and waited for him to pick up. "Castle," the writer answered.

"Hello Rick." He made a small gasp like voice and I knew he knew exactly who I was. "I'll make you a deal Rick; meet me in the alley way Johanna Beckett was murdered in at midnight or Kate Beckett dies."

"I'll be there," the writer answered without question.

He was either a very brave or very stupid man.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

This would all be over soon. I would meet with the dragon and hopefully keep Kate safe. I was more then thankful my mother and daughter were out of town for a couple days again. If my mother knew the name of the man I was going to meet it would kill her.

I went to the safe in my office and took out the gun no one knew I owned. I was getting the bullets when my phone rang again. I was afraid it would be _him _again, but it was just Kate. "Beckett?" I asked answering.

"Castle, I need to talk to you," she said.

"When?"

"Now can you come over?"

"I'll be right there."

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

He got there shortly after I called him. We sat on my couch while I took deep breaths. "I'm done Castle." He gave me an inquisitive look and I continued, "It's been almost thirteen years since my mother was murdered. I was never able to accept it. I tried so hard to find the man behind it Castle. She was my mother and I will always miss her, but I've got to stop putting us in danger by looking for her killer. I was shot, you were almost set on fire; I'm done. I have learnt from my mistakes, I can't chase this anymore."

Castle didn't say anything; he just had a blank expression on his face. He knew more then he was willing to admit. "Castle, I don't know what you know about her murder, but you have to let it go. You have to walk away like I'm doing."

He looked at me seriously and spoke softly, "I can't do that Kate."

"Rick please," I started to plead, but he got up and left.

It was almost funny how we had come in a full circle. When Castle first started looking into my mother's case he couldn't let it go and I told him to stop, then I was the one who couldn't let it go and he was begging me to stop, and now he's back to not letting it go. If he got himself killed I don't think id be able to live with myself. I took my head in my hands and sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So Esposito has been plotting with Madison, the dragon has a co-conspirator, and Castle is meeting with said dragon. What in the world is going to happen? Mwh ha ha ha ha ha! **

**~Rose**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

**A/N: I wasn't overly happy with this chapter when I put it on yesterday but I read through it again and added a few things that hopefully clears some stuff up. I'm still not too crazy over this chapter because it is supposed to be the most crucial chapter of the story and I don't think I did it justice (but then again I'm my own worst critic.) **

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Tears stream down your face"<p>

Castle:

I looked at my phone and saw the time was two minutes to midnight. It was almost time to face my destiny. I should have been scared out of my mind, but I wasn't. I could very well die tonight, but if I did I was sure as hell going to take the dragon down with me. Time seemed to drag on as I waited for midnight to approach. I knew I couldn't prolong the inevitable any longer and I stepped into the alley way and waited for the dragon to reveal himself.

The second the time changed to midnight the dragon stepped out into my line of vision. He was a tall man with gray hair and a smile that anyone else would think loving, but I found sinister. Although the gray haired man looked like he could be a loving grandfather, Jeff Callahan was anything but a jolly old man. Jeff Callahan had been the chief of police at the time of Johanna Beckett's death, but he retired seven years ago.

"Hello Richard," Callahan said.

He didn't know I knew who he really was to me, so I put as much venom as possible into my voice. "Hello Father."

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

_His lips were on mine. He was driving me crazy with those lips. My hands were travelling up and down his back and his were in my hair. It was so much like our undercover cover kiss, and yet it was so vastly different. His eyes were soulful and full of passion; they were also hungry for more. He reached for my cheek and softly whispered, "Kate I love you. I love you Kate." _

_Suddenly there were shots and Castle crumpled to the ground .I quickly looked around but no one was in sight. I looked back at Rick, my Rick; he was deathly pale and loosing blood quickly. There was so much blood. He was fading underneath my hands. _

_"I love you Rick. Stay with me," I begged. This must have been how Castle felt when I got shot. I couldn't pinpoint one emotion: sadness, anger, shock; they were all swimming around my head._

_I was covered with his blood and my tears. There was a banging in the distance; it got louder and louder…_

I woke up with a start. It had all been a dream; well most of it, there was still something banging. I realized that it was someone at the door and I went to answer it. I grabbed my gun and opened the door.

The man on the other side was one I may not know personally, but Castle knew quite well. I started to ask him why he was here when he grabbed me. I tried to scream but he shoved his hand over my mouth. Restraining me he almost whispered, "Shh Detective Beckett, it will all be over soon."

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

"You know I'm your father," Callahan said, almost chuckling, "did dear old Martha finally tell you?"

"Yes," I lied. Mother didn't tell me at all, she didn't even know I knew. I found out years ago from an old friend of mother's but I never felt the need to do anything about it until I found out my father was behind Kate's mother's murder.

"I suppose you want to know why your darling Kate's mother had to die before I kill you son."

"I know why you did it," I said my voice thick with anger, "You got greedy. Your gambling addition was getting the best of you. You ran out of money so you started to steal from the state. People started to notice and you knew you had to pay it back. You came up with a plan to kidnap mobsters and hold them for ransom. You couldn't do it yourself; if you were caught your reputation would be ruined. No, instead you blackmailed Raglan and McCallister, who got Montgomery involved." He smiled and I knew I was right. "Then when Johanna Beckett started looking into it you hired Coonan to kill her to shut her up. Along with that you also got Coonan to kill her associates. Then when Sam Barker, the ME on those cases was going to talk you had Melling kill him too. Between those and the three cops you got Lockwood to kill, one of which was my friend, you were responsible for a lot of deaths over money because you got too fucking greedy for your own good!"

"Very good son. I see you got my intelligence." I wanted to snap back that my mother was extremely intelligent, but it wasn't the time. "You see why I have to kill you, you are the only one who knows everything other than me," he explained calmly, " I can't let you ruin my life."

"You mean like you tried to ruin mine when you had Kate shot," I snapped back, anger surging through my body. Memories of Kate laying there dying in my arms flashed through my head. If I had lost her I knew I would lead an empty life; I couldn't be truly happy without her.  
>"That wasn't personal towards you son."<p>

I wanted to cringe every time he called me son. He wasn't my father; he was a monster. "The hell it isn't personal Callahan," I spat. I was going to continue, telling him that I loved Kate and anything that harmed her felt personal to me, but if I died tonight and Callahan lived I didn't want to give him more reason to go after her.  
>"You are in love with her aren't you?" He asked with a smirk.<br>I didn't respond but I knew my expression must have given the answer away.

"Prepare to say goodbye."  
><em>Prepare to say goodbye<em>, I thought, _how cliché is that?_  
>I heard more footsteps. I turned to see who it was and my breath caught in my throat. The man standing there was one I knew, trusted, and considered a friend. Never in a million years would I have guessed that my friend Bob, the mayor of New York, was involved with all this.<br>It wasn't just the betrayal of someone I thought was a friend that bothered me now: it was Kate. Bob had brought her here. He had a dark pillowcase over her head and she was restrained. She was struggling to get away but it was a losing fight. I didn't have time to deal with the mayor's betrayal right now; I just had to save Kate.  
>"Let go of her Bob," I warned.<br>"Or what Ricky?" He took the pillowcase off Kate's head and wrapped it around her neck instead. He started pulling it tighter and Kate looked more frightened than I had ever seen her before except for when she got shot. I lunged for Bob and Callahan came between us, pointing his gun at Kate.  
>I didn't have time to think, I just pulled out my own gun, aimed for Callahan, and pulled the trigger. It was a clean shot in the head; his death came quickly.<p>

I couldn't believe what I had just done even though I knew I was going to have to do it tonight anyways. I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I had just killed a man, but the fact that it was my father made it even worse. How was I ever going to explain this to Mother?  
>"It's a sad day when a man has to shoot his own father," Bob said pulling the pillowcase tighter around Kate's neck.<p>

"It's also sad when someone you thought was a friend turns out to be working with a psychopath," I snapped back pointing my gun at the mayor.  
>I peeked at the time on my phone and saw it was twenty after. They should be here. "Now!" I yelled.<br>Everything happened quickly from there. Ryan came out from the shadows and took Bob down in one swift movement. I grabbed Kate and held her to me, accidently dropping my gun in the process. Bob scrambled away from Ryan and managed to grab my gun. He pointed it at Ryan and Esposito stepped into view. Esposito pulled the trigger on his own gun and the mayor went down.  
>With his last breath Bob softly said, "I'm sorry Rick," before closing his eyes for the last time.<p>

"I can't believe that all just happened," Ryan said softly.

"Neither can I," I admitted.

Esposito was clearly worried as he looked at Beckett. "Castle," he said but didn't continue. He didn't need to; I knew exactly what he was trying to say. He was telling me to take care of her; to make sure she was okay.  
>Both of the boys looked at me sadly before leaving to report what happened to the precinct.<br>A very shocked Kate was still in my arms. I brushed the hair out of her face and kissed the top of her head. She would bounce back from this; she always did. I kissed the top of her head again. I knew she was a strong woman but sometimes even the strongest of people need a little comfort. I let go of her and we both slumped down to the ground.  
>I set my head on my knees and struggled for a deep breath. Under no circumstance was Kate ever allowed to know that Callahan was my father. The boys knew but they had been ordered to never tell her. The meeting I had with Ryan earlier had been difficult.<br>_"You have to understand Ryan; you can never tell Kate that Callahan is my father," _I told Ryan after I explained who the dragon was.

"_Why?"_

"_My father was behind the death of her mother Ryan; that will tear her apart."_

"_It won't change anything Castle. Her mother was killed, it doesn't matter who did it."_

"_Please just don't tell her."_

"_Okay Castle but I think you should."_

"_Maybe one day."_  
><em>"So what's the plan?" <em>He had asked.  
><em>"Meet me at the alley way where Johanna Beckett was killed at 12:20 am. Bring Esposito. You'll also have to let him know what is going on. I was going to tell him now but he's with Lanie and she is already suspicious of him because of his sneaking around for his plan lately."<em>  
><em>Ryan looked like he had a million things to say but he settled for, "Don't get yourself killed Castle."<em>  
>I snapped back into the moment and looked over at Kate. She looked so lost and I wanted to touch her cheek. She hadn't spoken since Bob had brought her here. It pained me to see her like this. I wished I could take it all away.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

It had been almost been thirteen years since Detective Raglan had told my father and I that my mother was murdered; and now the man behind it had been caught. I couldn't believe that the mayor had been involved in all this; that must be killing Castle. I didn't know what to feel. Of course I was relieved that the man behind all this was finally caught but at the same time I almost felt lost. Castle had been right when he said I was hiding behind my mother's murder. I had been chasing it so long that it had become a part of me.

I looked over to the man sitting next to me and squeezed his hand. He looked up at me with those expressive blue eyes and I finally lost it. I hated feeling weak but we just caught my mother's killer; I think it's okay to cry in that case. The tears, hot on my face, ran down my cheeks. Castle drew me in and held me while I cried. His one hand held my head to his chest while the other one rubbed comforting circles on my lower back.

I pulled my head back and noticed that he had tears in his eyes now too. "Castle," I tried to say but my voice was thick through the tears.

"Shh. Kate, it's okay."

I pulled away from his embrace and wiped a tear that was rolling softly down his cheek. It was like a spark hit me and I moved closer. His breath was hot on my face and I drank in his scent.

"Castle," I moved my hand up to his cheek and moved even closer. I didn't think, I just pressed my lips to his; the quick peck soon became passionate and heated. I had waited far too long to do this. His hands were tangled in my hair and mine were moving down the back of his shoulders. I had no doubt in my mind that I loved this man. He was my one and done.

Castle broke away from the kiss and looked at me with those piercing blue eyes again.

"Castle I lo—" I started.

"Kate we can't do this," Castle interrupted, "we just found your mother's killer. I can't take advantage of you right now."

"Castle. Rick. You aren't," I said heartbroken.

"Not now," he said pressing his finger to my lips, "forgive me."

I wanted to ask what he wanted me to forgive him for. I wanted to tell him he wasn't taking advantage. I wanted to kiss him again. His pleading blue eyes bore deep into mine. I wiped one more tear off his face, and then I did the only thing I knew how to do: I walked away from him, leaving my emotions behind.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

**A/N: Well we are quickly nearing the end. I will have the rest of the story posted by Wedensday morning because I'm leaving that afternoon and going out of town until school starts and will only have internet occasionally.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter,**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And I"<p>

Castle:

It was all over. The man who had hired Dick Coonan to kill Johanna Beckett was dead. I felt like shit knowing I had to kill a man, my father, but at least it was over. Kate was safe now. It would be a huge scandal when the press found out that the ex chief of police and the mayor were behind the murders of a lawyer, her associates, a courthouse document clerk, an ME, and three cops. Kate and myself would probably be in the news for weeks. I was used to the press hounding me but Kate was going to hate it.

_Kate._ I still couldn't believe the passion she had kissed me with. I wanted to hold on to her and never let her go but I was afraid she had only kissed me because she was upset. I couldn't let her do something she would regret later. Letting her go again was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do; but I did it because I love her.

* * *

><p><span>Ryan:<span>

Esposito and I were filling out the last of the paperwork on Johanna Beckett's case when Kate Beckett herself walked in. She looked like crap. She had a lost expression and her eyes were puffy, like she had been crying. It was actually kind of scary to see Beckett like this because she was always so put together, physically and emotionally.

"How're doing Beckett?" I asked her, slightly afraid she'd yell at me.

"Exhausted," she admitted.

I knew she was more than just exhausted, but I wasn't going to press the matter.

"How's Castle?" my partner asked.

Beckett's face changed into a partial grimace. "Fine," she answered too quickly.

"Kate," I started, using her first name, which I rarely do, "is everything okay between you and Castle?"

"Yes. Just fine," she answered probably stiffer than she meant too.

"I've tried to stay out of it—," I started.

"Except for the bet," Esposito murmured under his breath, interrupting me.

I gave him a glare before I continued, "But this has gone on long enough. He's in love with you. He said it when he thought you were dying, but we could all see it before that. Knowing you, you won't admit it, but you clearly love him too. One of you better do something about it before it's too late. You've both almost died in the past few months. Need I remind you that you were shot, he was almost sent up in flames, and then you were both almost shot again? Are you guys going to wait until one of you is dead and it's too late?"

For the first time in all the years I have worked with Beckett, she didn't have a sarcastic comeback. I looked at my partner and gave him a slight nod that told him to go through with our plan. He left the room and I was left with a slightly stunned but pissed Beckett.

"When will you guys learn to stay out of my personal business? What happens between me and Castle is none of your concern."

"Castle and I," I corrected under my breath sounding un-necessarily like Castle.

"What?"

"Never mind," I mumbled.

What could I possibly say to this woman that would make a difference?

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

It was unbelievable how much sneaking around I had to do lately. Between hiding things from Beckett and hiding things from Lanie, I could become a professional sneaker (which I guess I am considering I'm a detective). I had gotten Ryan's hint when he nodded at me so I left to call someone who could fix everything. The phone rang and rang and I tapped my foot impatiently.

Finally the man on the other end picked up. "Castle," he answered.

"Castle, it's Esposito. You better get down to the precinct."

"Be right there," he answered without even asking why. Mission accomplished.

Joining Beckett and Ryan again was awkward. They were both sitting at their desks, staring at their paperwork, and not speaking. I sat down at my own desk and waited for Castle to get there.

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

Kevin Ryan was like a brother to me. Esposito and I had taken him under our wings as soon as he joined our precinct. It didn't take long for him and Esposito to become best friends, and for him to become a younger brother to me. I knew all he was doing was trying to look out for both Castle and I but it pissed me off that he was trying to play matchmaker. Castle and I were never going to work. Sure attraction was there. Actually there was more than just attraction; he understood me, he was always there when I needed him (except for the two months he was gone), and I loved him in a way I had never loved a man before. Castle and I should have been perfect together, but we weren't. The man drove me crazy! Between his crazy theories and his child-like behavior he was enough to make me scream some days. Then again, that was all a part of his charm. We could be great together but something within both of us always stopped it.

I heard someone walk in so I looked up from my paperwork and stared into the blue eyes I hadn't seen since my mom's killer was caught. The last time I saw those eyes they had been filled with tears.

"What are you doing here Castle?" I asked harshly.

If he was hurt by my tone he didn't show it. "Esposito called me and told me to come," Castle said looking over at said detective.

"I forgot I was supposed to meet Lanie," Esposito said lamely, "I'll see you guys later.

Both Castle and I looked over to Ryan, who suddenly started pretending he was talking to Jenny on the phone, even though neither one of us heard his phone ring. He scrambled out after Esposito while gesturing that he was talking on the phone.

"Castle you wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"I have just as much of an idea as you do. Like I said Esposito called me and told me to come here."

I was wired by this point. "When will those two stop meddling in our private lives?"

"What are you talking about Kate?'

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. They've been meddling with us for three years!" I yelled.

"Us? There is no us! You made damn sure of that ages ago!" he screamed right back at me.

"Me? I broke up with Tom when I realized it wasn't him I wanted to be with; it was you! I was about to tell you that until your ex-wife walked in and wrapped her arm around you."

"I only asked her to go to the Hamptons with me because you were with Demming. By the time I came back you were with Josh so I stayed with Gina hoping it would make you jealous."

"So you're blaming me for all this?"

"No. I should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago."

"Why didn't you?" I asked, my heart leaping.

"I didn't want to scare you off. I didn't know if you could feel the same way I feel about you." he took a step closer to me. He was no longer yelling like we had been. His voice was much softer as he put his hand on my face and said, "I almost told you so many times. When we first kissed, in the freezer, when the bomb was about to go off, in your apartment when you asked what we were, at the hangar, when you were in the hospital, when I was in the hospital, after I shot Callahan and Esposito shot Bob. So many times Kate."

"You told me when you thought I was dying."

"Yes. You had to know. If you were going to die in my arms, you had to know how I feel about you."

I could barely breathe. I couldn't do this now. "You left Rick," I said taking a step back away from him.

"I did it to prove the man who had your mother killed was guilty."

Some pathetic part of me had wished he said something else. That part of me couldn't keep quiet. "Is that the only reason you left?"

"No," he admitted, "When you first asked me why I had left, I told you it was because I had to get away. I wasn't entirely lying about that. I did have to get away; I couldn't see you with Josh."

"I had broken up with Josh before you left."

"Even if I had known that I still would have left. I had to. I had to protect you. I care about you and I-" he stopped and looked up at something behind me.

I turned around to see what he was looking at and saw Ryan and Esposito standing there with silly grins. I suddenly didn't care if they heard what Castle was about to say. "And you…?" I pressed.

He looked into my eyes and said the words. "And I love you."

I turned around again to see how the boys had reacted. Ryan had a smug smile as Esposito practically threw a twenty-dollar bill at him. I turned around again to see Castle walking out the door.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

**A/N: Super nervous about this chapter too.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"Lights will guide you home"<p>

Beckett:

It had been a two days since the scene Castle and I had made in the precinct. I hadn't called him and he hadn't called me. This is what our relationship would always be like; every time we start to make progress we would both pull away. Although we hadn't spoken since it happened, I was still in awe of the passion in his eyes when he told me he loved me. Maybe someday Richard Castle and I would say 'I love you' to each other without one of us running away.

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

I was finally done sneaking around. Tonight was the night that I would finally tell Lanie what was going on. I never would have been able to pull off this plan without Madison's help. I was taking her out for dinner tonight at Q3 and I would tell her there. I nervously tightened my tie as I paced back and forth in front of the door of my apartment. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I took a deep breath and left my apartment.

Lanie was always beautiful, but she was breath-taking tonight. She was wearing a deep red dress that hugged her body in ways that drove me crazy. Her dark hair was down but she had it in loose curls that framed her face. The waiter came and took our order but I had no clue what I actually ordered. The only thing I was paying attention to was the incredible woman in front of me.

We didn't talk much during dinner. I couldn't think of anything to say other than what I brought her here to tell her. Madison had taken a lot of time to help me with the plan and I couldn't let it fail now. I took another deep breath, about to say something when Lanie set down her crème brulée and sighed. "It's been a long couple months hasn't it?"

"Yeah it has been," I agreed. It was time to do it. "So much has happened. Beckett and Castle almost died multiple times, the man behind Beckett's mother's murder was caught, and Castle told Beckett he loves her."

"We both lost a lot of money on that but I'm glad he did it," she said smiling, "Now if only they would get their act together and get together."

"They'll get there. You know what bothers me though?" I asked her.

"What?"

"That it took Beckett getting shot to make Castle tell her how he feels. It was almost too late for him."

"Kate was pretty torn up about those words," Lanie admitted, "but she almost told him the same thing when he was in the hospital after the fire."

"Exactly. It took near death experiences for them to finally admit it to themselves. It made me realize that when you're a cop you can't chance not saying what you feel. It's a dangerous job and there is always the chance that there won't be a tomorrow."

Lanie took a deep breath and I knew she knew what was coming. "I love you Lanie. If I were to get shot today I need you to know how much I really do love you." She had tears in her eyes now. I reached into the pocket of my suit jacket and pulled out a small velvet box. She let out a small gasp as I opened it, revealing a white gold and diamond ring. "Lanie Parish will you marry me?"

She held out her hand and I slid the ring on her finger. "Yes," she breathed, "yes."

* * *

><p><span>Beckett:<span>

"Open the door Kate!" Lanie yelled pounding on my door. She had called me six times in the past half an hour but I kept pressing ignore. I didn't need another lecture about how Castle and I should stop being stubborn and just get together. "Katherine Beckett if you don't open this door right now I will be forced to kick it down!"

Sighing I opened the door. Lanie was all dressed up which meant she had probably been out to dinner with Esposito. "Yes Lanie?" Lanie held up her left hand showing off the diamond that was on her ring finger. "Oh Lanie!" I hugged her excitedly, happy for my friend.

We sat down on my couch and she gushed about her evening, but I couldn't focus on her words. It hit me. Seeing my friend so in love made me see that I needed to go home. When you have had your apartment blown up and then your new apartment set on fire, you learn that home isn't the place you live; it's being with the people you love. "Lanie?"

"Yes?" she asked.

"Do you mind? I need to go to Castle."

"Damn girl it's about time you saw the light. Go."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

**A/N: This is my favorite chapter but I'm super nervous. I'm going to go hide now and hope the reviews are good and not bad.**

**~Rose**

* * *

><p>"And ignite your bones"<p>

Beckett:

The doorman at Castle's building knew me well by now, so he let me up without any fuss. I dashed to the elevator and slammed on the up button. It opened and I got in. Pressing the button for Castle's floor I willed the elevator to go faster.

I pounded on his door but there was no answer. "Castle! Rick! Open up!"

The door finally opened but it wasn't Castle on the other side: it was Martha. "Hello Martha," I told the elder red head calmly, "Is your son here?"

"Kate? Yes he's in his study," she answered.

"Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked walking towards us, "Do you want me to get my dad?"

"That would be great Alexis," I told her.

The young Castle disappeared to find her father leaving me with Martha. "Make every moment count kiddo," Martha said with a wink. Alexis had come back with Castle so I couldn't respond.

"Beckett?"

"Castle," I started. "I'm tired of us dancing around each other." I didn't care that his family was standing there watching; I only cared about him. I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer to me. My hand moved up his back and knotted in his hair. I pulled his head towards mine and planted my lips on his. I kissed him with all the passion I had and he returned that passion with his own kisses. I remembered that his family was standing there so I broke off from the kiss and looked into his eyes. I was ready. "Richard Castle, I love you."

"I have been waiting a long time to hear those words Detective Beckett. I love you Kate." He pressed his lips to mine again, but only briefly this time. He pulled away and I saw Alexis gaping and Martha smiling widely.

"It's about time," Martha muttered before leaving to give us some privacy. Alexis looked like she wanted to see what was going to happen but Martha dragged her off.

"Kate," he whispered. I silenced him with another kiss. "Do you know when I realized I was in love with you?"

"When?" I asked him, still in his arms.

"When I was being held captive by the 3XK. I honestly thought he was going to kill me but all I could think about was how afraid I was that I would never see you again."

"I knew I loved you when you kissed me to distract that guard when Lockwood captured Ryan and Esposito. In that moment I couldn't think of anything else; all I could do was kiss you back."

He kissed me again and when we pulled away we were both breathless.

"I wonder how much money Ryan is making off us." Castle joked.

"I don't really care anymore."

"Neither to I." Our lips met again. I could get used to this.

* * *

><p><span>Alexis:<span>

Almost all was right in the world again. My dad was safe and home, Detective Beckett's mother's killer was caught, and the two of them were finally together. I was happy for both of them. Everyone could see what they felt for each other so it was nice to see them finally admit it. I couldn't help but wonder how things were going to change around here. Would he eventually ask the detective to move in with us? I hoped so; it would be good for him to have a responsible woman in the house for after I leave.

Almost all was right in the world, but not all. There was someone I needed to apologize to. I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. "Hello?" the person on the other end said.

"Ashley, it's me Alexis. Can we talk?"

* * *

><p><span>Esposito:<span>

All was calm at the precinct. It was my day off but I ran in because Grayson had asked me to come in. Ryan was with Jenny and Beckett was with Castle so I was there alone. As I walked into Grayson's office she looked up from where she was sitting at her desk and actually smiled at me. "You called Captain?"

"Yes Esposito. I just wanted to say that I know Montgomery was like a father to you, Ryan, Beckett, and even Castle. I know I will never replace him, and I wouldn't want to; but I am glad that you guys have finally excepted me into your family. I am sorry I tried to push you guys away from Johanna Beckett's case but I couldn't risk losing three valuable detectives. You did a good job solving the murder of all those people."

"Thank you Captain Grayson."

"Do you remember Marvin Barker?" she asked me.

"The brother of the ME that was killed? Yeah."

"Well he was grateful that you guys were finally able to solve his brothers murder. So grateful in fact that he left you guys these." Grayson held up some envelopes and handed one to me that had my name on it. I opened it to see a check for an obscene amount of money.

"I can't accept this," I said, still not believing the amount of money.

"He insisted. I'll give everyone else theirs on Monday but I thought I would give you yours as soon as possible. After all you have to pay off the bank loan you got to pay for Doctor Parish's engagement ring."

"How did you know about that?" I asked.

"I hear things too you know. So how long do you think it's going to be before Castle proposes to Beckett?"

"Knowing them, who knows," I laughed, "It took them over three years to even admit they have feelings for each other."

"I never thought I would say this, but they seem like a good match."

"Yeah they are," I admitted, "we've been saying that from the beginning."

* * *

><p><span>Ryan:<span>

"Hey Jenny, I was thinking we should go out tonight," I said to my fiancée kissing her forehead.

"Sure," she replied, "where?"

"I was thinking maybe Le Cirque."

"Le Cirque? Isn't that crazy expensive?"

I held up my winnings from the bet and smiled. "I think I have it covered.

"Where did you get all the money Kevin?"

I smiled again. "The little bet we had at the precinct about when we thought Castle and Beckett would get together."

"Little bet? You have to have at least two hundred dollars there."

"The whole precinct got involved."

"Apparently." Jenny leaned over and kissed me. "Remind me to never place a bet against you."

"Deal," I said kissing her again. I was one hell of a lucky man.

* * *

><p><span>Martha:<span>

I still couldn't believe that Jeff Callahan was behind Kate mother's murder. Naturally I was upset about that but I still couldn't help but to beam. My son had finally got the woman he loved. I fully approved of Kate Beckett. She was different from Meredith, Gina, or any other woman Richard had been with. I knew she would make him happy, and he would be good for her too. Jim would be pleased to hear they were together too. I wanted to call him to tell him myself but I knew it was something Kate should probably tell him herself. Oh what would one little call hurt?

I dialed his number while smiling. Is was about time that our kids finally saw what the rest of the world saw: that they were perfect for each other.

"Hello Jim it's Martha," I said into the phone, "You'll never guess what just happened in our doorway…"

* * *

><p><span>Lanie:<span>

"See I told you Grayson wouldn't be so bad," I told Javier.

"She isn't Montgomery but I think we'll all get used to her."

Javier and I were at his place discussing wedding plans when he told me about what Grayson said and about the money. I looked down at my ring, still not believing that I was engaged to this wonderful man. Everyone was finally all matched up. I had Javi, my best friend had writer boy, and Javier's best friend had Jenny. Jenny and Ryan would be getting married in a couple months and mine and Javier's wedding would be in about a year.

All was perfect among the twelfth precinct.

* * *

><p><span>Castle:<span>

Sighing with happiness I traced a line of kisses up Kate's neck and onto her cheek. After our declaration of love back at my apartment we decided to go to her apartment. We ordered Chinese takeout for supper and then watched an old movie we both loved.

"What will everyone think if we walk into the precinct together tomorrow?" she asked me.

"Well they already know we're together," I stated, "there is no way that isn't all over the precinct already."

"True," she admitted, "let them think what they want."

She moved closer to me on the couch and I wrapped my arm around her."We should really get some sleep," I told her, "after all you do have work tomorrow."

"We have work tomorrow," she corrected with a smile.

I ran my hand along her jaw line and moved in for another kiss. I started with her forehead, making my way down to her cheekbone, and I kept moving down until I finally met her lips. "I love you Kate Beckett," I said staring into the eyes of the woman I loved and would do anything for, "always."

"Always," she agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Am I the only one who can't believe there is only one chapter left?**

**~Rose**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

**A/N: I simply cannot believe I am done this story. I've never completed a multi chapter story before let alone one this long. **

**First of all I would like to thank all my readers and reviewers but a special thank you to LittleMissRainbow, LoTS-Fanatic, texasloves9, Jotchprossi18, and I'm widget. Now a super special thank you to IdaKnight and caskettismagic14 for reminding me why I love to write. Last but not least in the thank yous I would like to thank DeadPigeon for always keeping me amused and inspired.**

**A couple of you have noticed the same thing I have; that this story started out strong but lost quality as I went on. I got so caught up in trying to please everyone that I forgot who I really started this story for: myself. This isn't the last time you will be hearing from me; I will hopefully be back with a new story soon, and next time I'll remember to write because I love it. **

**Now a quick note on this chapter. Yes, it is short. All I ever wanted for the final chapter was a short wrap up in Kate's point of view. I'm an angst writer in case you guys didn't notice so I had a bit of trouble with some of the fluffier scenes. **

**Well I haven't done a disclaimer in ages so in case you guys haven't realized this yet; I don't own Castle or Fix You. **

**Its been a fun journey and writing this story defenitely brought me out of a dark place but it is time for that journey to end. This note is now almost as long as the chapter so I'm going to shut up now. **

**~Rose**

**And now I give you the final instalment of Fix You.**

* * *

><p>"And I will try to fix you"<p>

ONE YEAR LATER

Beckett:

It was a beautiful morning. The sky was blue and the grass was very green. Just over a year ago we all stood outside on a morning like this, but it was very different circumstances. That time it was Montgomery's funeral; but now we were celebrating a wedding instead of a funeral.

Lanie and Esposito were getting married today. Ryan and Jenny had tied the knot eight months ago and Jenny was seven months pregnant. Castle and Esposito had tried bribing Ryan for moths to pick between them as his best man but Ryan couldn't decide so they both ended up being his best men. Now Esposito was doing the same thing. I was going to be Lanie's bridesmaid, but maybe one day I would get to be the bride.

The past year practically flew by. Not long after Callahan and the mayor were caught I had convinced Grayson to let Castle back in the precinct. He wasn't allowed to come with us when we chased after criminals anymore but that was my doing not Grayson's. Grayson was no Roy Montgomery but she turned out to be not that bad of an addition to the team after all.

Martha moved out of the loft almost a year ago and Alexis left for Stanford right after Ryan and Jenny's wedding. I moved in with Castle a couple of months before Alexis left and the loft felt like home almost immediately.

We didn't talk about Callahan or the mayor if possible, but Castle did finally admit that Callahan was his father. I couldn't understand why he had tried to keep it from me; it didn't change anything. He couldn't help that his father had been a greedy psychopath that had been responsible for twelve deaths. I wasn't upset that Callahan had been Castle's father, but I was upset that he didn't tell me. It was a bump in our relationship but we got past it just like we had gotten past everything else.

I looked around and saw Castle walking towards me. He looked so good in his tux and I knew he would think I looked beautiful in my purple bridesmaid dress. It was time for the ceremony to begin so Castle and I had to take our positions. As he reached me he gave me a quick kiss on the lips before we had to part ways again.

Lanie was stunning in her dress. It white silk; strapless and floor length. Her hair was up and she had white flowers twisted into it. I couldn't help but to imagine what I might look like at my wedding. "You ready Lanie?" I asked her lightly. She nodded while smiling and followed me down the isle.

After the ceremony was over and many tears were shed the plan was to meet at the old haunt. Ryan had already had a glass of champagne too many so going to a bar now should be interesting.

I had caught the bouquet when Lanie threw it. That made twice now. Castle had given me a huge smile when I caught it. I grabbed my flowers and left with Castle.

We weren't going straight to the old haunt. There was somewhere I wanted to go first.

As we reached the graveyard I grabbed Castle's hand. "I love you Rick," I told him.

"I love you too Kate."

I had never let Rick come with me when I visited my mom before but I was ready to take the next step and let him in even more. It had been a long road of recovery and I was far from emotionally healed but time and being with Rick would slowly fix me.

Rick kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arm around me. We both took a deep breath and walked towards my mother's grave. I had finally put her death behind me but it was still nice to have someone I loved here with me. My mother's murder was my past but Rick was my future.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for reading this story. **

**~Rose**


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